Going Private

No, I did not wax my pubes off. Instead, due to some recent occurrences, I feel like it is in my best interest to go private to the general public. Just shoot me an email or a msg on facebook, and Ill make it public for you to read.

Random Update

I have made good progress on my "bucket list"
- Omelette: I ate a 12 egg omelette and 4 pieces of toast in 15 minutes. The last quarter piece was a bitch to finish off; but the smooth shit after made it all worthwhile. Done
- Skydiving: I got to go this wknd. In all fairness, this is my third time going, but this time was the best. Usually, it feels like a ride, as you have any control during the fall. However, this time was very different this time as they let me pull the chute and control the parachute as we floated to the ground. Further, jumping out of a plane never gets old. Your brain almost stops working. The plane plateau's at 13,000 feet and all of a sudden people are voluntarily jumping out of the plane - my brain which is EXTREMELY LOGICAL, can't process that. So rather than look like a bitch and not jump, you almost shut your brain off and go with your gut. Of course the whole time the idea that a chute does not open does not enter your head - rather I think of it as simply a thrill ride. One note, the morning we did this, I maxed out on squats - BAD IDEA. The staps were pressing against my already sore quads, which was extremely painful. Done


- Project PBJ: The wknd before my bday, we held a pbj drive at my house where we made 200 lunches for the homeless. For the most part, we were able to avoid the rain while handing out sandwiches. People were all very appreciative, especially considering the shitty weather. My
favorite incident was when an individual approached me in the Tenderloin, while I was passing out sandwiches and asked me "Can I have a free lunch?"

I grabbed a bag and was about to hand to him, when I looked at him. This guys was wearing a a nice clean track suit, and had a iphone. "Hell no bro, you got an iphone, you can get your own lunch." Luckily he did not pull a gun on me, and kept walking somewhat embarrassed. All
the other homeless around me started giving him shit as well. Great moment.

The best part was as were delivering sandwiches, we got a call from my sister stating that her water broke, and my nephew was on his way. We immediately jumped on plane, so I got to be there for his actual birth. Karma is great!

- Breakdancing: I found a guy who can teach me, but his rates are about $30 an hour, which seems pretty high to me. This guy guarantees that after a 4 hour session, ill be able to do the basics. I told him I was overweight and move like a white dude, but he has faith. I saw some of his videos, and he is SICK! He has competed internationally, but as a typical indian, i am hesitant because of the rates....

Completely random thoughts

- US sometimes acts as a hypocrite. We are the only country to ever use a nuclear bomb (and invented it) but we forbid any other country to not only use it but even have it. We detest Nazis for putting Jews in concentration camps, but during WW2, we had no problems putting Japanese in concentration camps or during the McCarthy years, putting suspected Communists in jail or on special lists.

- Soy chorizo is awesome.

- I am still sad Manning lost. More so, because I hate all these bandwagon Saints fans. I guess I hate the notion that a city NEEDS a championship. Berkeley NEEDS a college championship. The whole city revolves around the college and it would boost up the city (through sales tax dollars) if we won. There.

- Coke Zero is pretty good. Throwback Pepsi is even better, but after awhile it was too sweet.

- Major props to Yat, Ravi, Anuj and Trips for coming out for my bday celebration/reception. It was great having you there. 44 people 5 course dinner, 8 speeches , 1 song and countless drinks= one special night. While I did not get gifts like I would expect in a wedding reception, you all paid for your and a portion of my food. Does that mean I need to send you all thank you cards.
Yat, here is a special pre-bday shoutout for your bday on Saturday. Last of our class to turn 30. Can you believe next year, it will be 10 years since we graduated college. Fuck me.

- I like that song, "call me mr. flintsone, I can make your bedrock." I think a more apt song for me is "call me mr. rogers, because I love cardigans." In my head, that joke sounded better, but I actually do love cardigans. I own 3 now, and rock them all the time.

- Its been 2 months since meditation. I have lost the practice. I need to sign up for a course ASAP.

- Losing weight. My journey to lose weight seems like it will last a long time as I have realized two things. I love food. I like bacon, cheese, avocado, ribs, etc. Combined with the fact that my only enjoyable cardio is playing ball, which happens about 4 times a week. I have started spin because there are a couple cute girls in the class. Standard.

- I have started giving myself haircuts. Well times are tough, and more importantly I don't have that much hair. there are days when I think I look good, and days where it looks like I have a 5 dollar haircut. Overall I think I got to stop, because when I look at pics of my hair when I had a pro cut it, it looks 100x better. There is one nice thing though about being able to cut your own hair with clippers. It is a awesome head massage.

- I have finally turned 30. Accordingly, I have finally started drinking my scotch neat, which makes a huge difference in terms of taste. And Shashank you are right, the old fashioned is one hella of a drink, and I must admit a but better than my favorite, the God father.

- I started watching Lost this season, just to see what all the hype was about. This is the dumbest show ever. It is like Mr. India, Back to the Future and a typical indian movie with double roles combined in one. Fuck lost. I said it.

- Another season of Friday Nights has come and gone. While not as great as prior seasons, it still blows all the crap that is currently on TV out of the water. Now my routine of downloading the show Thursday night and watching it on Friday is over. This was honestly, my most peaceful and inspiring 45 min. Fuck me.

Anyhow, I hate the idea of having a private blog. I am not that popular and I want to believe the
only people reading this are my friends and they all know whom to share these stories with, and certain stories should not be shared with everyone. However, a couple instances has shown me otherwise. One example, is this colleague of mine form CSFB. We were associates together and he recently made VP, but he was always super competitive and loved to make others looks bad. I just found out , that he went out of his way to show my former MD my waxing videos. Fuck me. But more than that, fuck him. What an ass. I dont want to stop sharing the stupid moments in my life with you all - especially as we grow older, and we kick it less, I find this forum for more and more important and necessary. FB has gotten too popular and no longer is the right forum to share these kind of stories. However, in three years when I am married, if my blog revolves around stories about Bed Bath and Beyond or Costco, please shoot me.

Wax On Wax Off

First off, this shit hurts. Not as bad as Steve Carrell made it out to be, but pretty close. I wanted to yell "Kelly Clarkson" but honestly I couldn't maintain that focus. Do you ever feel pain so bad that you have to laugh. Like when your friends hits you superhard in the stomach or the arm, the only reaction is to laugh in disbelief.

That is what waxing feels like. They say a bikini wax / Brazilian hurts 1000x more, so ladies on behalf of all dudes everywhere. Anyhow it was definitely an interesting experience. I decided to take my sister and bro-in-law with me. I was hoping they could provide some moral support, and can take some pics. Also, given all the shit I have given my sister, I figured this is the best gift I can give her.

Of course, when we were driving there, she started to scare me and I actually began to lose my confidence. I began to wonder what I got myself into. Rather than panicking I remember some lessons from meditation - all sensation is temporary. Somehow that helped me alot. I got to the place, and was the only dude there. The receptionist let a small smirk escape when I mentioned that I was here for waxing- oh well, i would do much worse if I was in her shoes.

They say a picture is worth 1000 words. These next couple videos will describe the process much better than I can ever in words. The funny thing is I let my sister pull a couple strips, since she was begging to do so. It gave her such pleasure that I was in such pain. I then promised her that I will bring this up when she goes into labor.

I was pretty lucky that my bro-in-law was there. While my sister was savoring every moment, he shared the pain with me; he said he felt each strip being pulled off my body and was there to offer sympathy. After I was done with my chest and my shoulders, I debated whether to do my back. I dont have a hairy back, but I figured might as do the full thing once in my life. when the lady said it would be an additional $40 , my sister said to skip it. thankfully, my bro told me that I literally had a line of hair on my back , and there was an outline of a square of the area that had not been waxed. Just as a FYI, an area looks extremely hairy when compared to an area that has been waxed. So of course, I took the plunge and got my back waxed as well. They say the back is supposed to hurt less because there are less nerve endings - for some reason, it hurt 100x more. No pain, no gain I guess.

Will I do this again? I got to admit, afterwards my chest and stomach felt like a baby's ass, so I kept feeling it up. It was that soft. Even a couple girls who knew that I was getting it done agreed that the softness was unreal. Unfortunately, I dont think waxing is my thing.
1.) I had a slight reaction to the wax, so I had all these red bumps everywhere. Not SEXY.
2.) All my follicles were open, so it looked like I had these pin holes everywhere. NOT sexy.
3.) I did not realize how much the hair made my boobs and stomach look smaller. Fuck me.
4.) The hair has started to grow back. And its been a week. I thought this was supposed to last 6 months. Fuck me. For one week of smoothness, this procedure is not worth it. I think going fwd, whomever I end up, will just have to trim me with some clippers.
5.) Like the movie, the lady who waxes you giggles everytime you are in pain . I wanted to cuss at her, but my sister knew her so I restrained myself.
6.) Price surprisingly was not an issue - I got my the upper half of my body done for $56, which i thought was pretty good. I laughed when i saw a brazilian for a dude costs $68. Again, why would you do that?

Btw, and dudes who get brazilians - are you fucking nuts?

The Beginning Video - "I can deal with this"


Wax On Wax Off - "This pain is for real"


The Nipple - " Is it still there (I thought they ripped it off)"

100K Miles / Living in Silence

100K Miles
My 1998 Nissan Maxima crossed the 100,000 mark on 1/4/2010. For some reason, I thought it would be a big deal and was looking forward to seeing the digital odometer turn from 99,999 miles to 100K miles. I kept thinking of the Married with Children episode, where Al Bundy's car had 999,999 miles on it and was going to reset to 0. Unfortunately, Al fell asleep and missed the moment when it crossed that threshold.

Similarly, when I woke up Monday I had 30 miles before the moment. I usually don't drive much in the city, so I thought I would be conscious if I would be close to passing it. However that morning, one of my good friends went into labor, and I was asked to drive his 2 yr old son to day care. Of course, I was so happy for them that on my drive down to daycare, I completely forgot to check, and when I looked at my car I had 100,027 miles.

Given the circumstances, I started laughing. Here I am at almost 30 years old, and my big moment is watching this piece of shit car get 100,000 miles. Meanwhile, my friend is in the hospital having his second kid. I am not one to compare and in no way am I ready to have kids right now, but on the surface even I had to laugh.

Though I talk alot of shit about my car, I actually do like it alot. The car has dents and is missing some paint, and does not have a fancy leather interior or even a GPS, it has served me well. No major breakdowns and has gotten me from point a to point B. It really is a worry free car.

I guess we are also very similar. For a car that is 12 years old, 100K is really good, especially considering maximas are good for 200K miles usually. Living in SF with the occasional drive to Silicon Valley or drive to LA, one does not rack up the miles on a daily basis as those living in LA. Anyhow, I feel the same way about my life. Though I am turning 30, and look way older than 30, I really do feel young inside. I still have a somewhat immature attitude towards life and try not to take it too seriously. I feel like I am not where a typical 30 year old should be in terms of career/relationship, etc.

While friends are getting married and having kids, I am still thinking about how much I can bench press and still figure out a career. I had always thought by 30, my job/career path would be set. I would be someone that people would know. It is gay but there is a song "Papa Kethe Hain Bara Kaam Karega. Business main apna naam baanaga". Well by 30, I thought I would have made my name by now. However, in two years I have gone from making $350K to $25K in unemployment. Sure I have learned how to be happy with less and more importantly survive with less, but it still remains that there is no way I can support kids and a wife, let alone a girlfriend. The loss in financial freedom really has been good for me- I was headed down a very materialistic and toxic lifestyle and this past year have allowed the time to slowly get off of it.

At first, I became a bit depressed and obsessed with this age. I had all these goals and milestones that I had hoped to achieve, and I am nowhere close to them. Besides being married, and having a tight job, there was a host of material things i wanted to have. As a result, I have been quite afraid of this number. People would ask me what I am doing for my 30th and I would shirk away. If we did not celebrate it, in my head it is possible it does not happen.

In the past month, alot has changed. The meditation camp (see below) really helped to strengthen my moral compass and given me a better view of life. As a result, rather than shirking from this moment in my life, I am facing it head on. One of the ways I am doing this is trying to come up with a list of things/experiences I wanted to do in my life before I turn 30, rather than say focus on what I haven't accomplished in 30 years. Sort of a bucket list of sorts. Here is what I have come up with and I would really appreciate any suggestions. To the extent I can video/photo myself while doing this stuff, I will.

1.) Wax my chest - As many of you have pointed out, I have a hairy chest and hairy shoulders and hairy back (Why cant they transplant this hair to my head is beyond my understanding). Most guys I know just trim off off the hair, but I always wanted to see how painful that scene from 40 yr old virgin actually was. I am not vain or gay. I just think it will a good experiment and make for a great video. My goal is to get the whole chest done and not stop halfway. This is happening tomorrow (Friday). Wish me luck.

2.)Skydiving - I have not done this in 3 years and want to do it again. They say the more you do it, the more peaceful the free fall is. Instead of screaming like crazy, you just are in a zone and observing everything. Anyhow, this is happening this Saturday. If I had true balls, I would go bungee jumping, but I could not find a place near SF, so this will have to do.

3.) Flying a plane - Granted I did this 7 years ago, I had the urge to do this again. This past wknd I took a lesson and flew from Arcadia, to downtown LA near the Hollywood sign and out to Santa Monica over the pier, etc. Cool part was my parents rode in the back and my pop even flew for 15 minutes. Flying is easy, and a pilot's license is something I want to get in the future. The crazy thing was how easy it was for 3 indoes to do this. Granted we don't look like terrorists, I still would have thought it would be much more difficult in this post 9-11 world.

4.) Sharkdiving - I have been obsessed with sharks since I was a kid. And the Farrallon Islands is the best place to see great whites. Unfortunately September is the best time to see that. I still plan on doing that this year, but in the meantime I am going to go whale watching, which I have not done since my 4th grade field trip.

5.) Dolphin Club - This is a club that swims in the Bay. These badasses go even in the winter when the water is 50 degrees without a wetsuit. I just found out that I can't go unless I am a member, so I guess I am going to go to Baker beach and jump in the water and jump out. People are going to think I am nuts.

6.) Swim 500 yards - I used to have to do this event in high school , which I absolutely hated. It is the longest event in a swim meet - 20 lengths or 10 laps. I have forgotten how slow I was, but considering most good swimmers can do a 100 in a minute, I think good times were 5 mins or so. If i can do it in 12 mins or less, I will consider this a success.

7.) Eat a 12 egg omelet - I am obsessed with the show Man vs Food. Eating challenges make life interesting. I love eggs - I usually eat a 3 egg omelet everyday. A 12 egg omelet would be a challenge, but I think I should be able to do this. I'll add toppings and some cheese and add a 15 minute time limit to add another layer of difficulty. Its all in the head. Plus the shit after would be monumental.

8.) Host another PBJ drive - A couple years ago, I hosted a PBJ drive where I got a group of friends together and made sandwiches for the poor. Giving back to the community is always good.

9.) Drinking challenge - I just did the power hour two months ago, but if anyone has a unique challenge (not something stupid like 20 shots of jack, id be game)

10.) Breakdancing - For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be that guy. The guy who can go into the middle of a circle and do a flare, a hurricane, or even C-walk. Its not about getting girls (that works in high school), just something I have always wanted to do. Anyhow, I put an ad on CL for a teacher, and got a response from this pro who has his own breaking crew and has competed internationally. lets see if he can teach this old dog new tricks.

Here is a pic from my latest flight lesson.


Living in Silence

The mind is a beast. It creates monsters out of moles, makes friends seem like enemies and can make a decent life seem very negative and miserable. Those close to me know my issues with anxiety in college. It seems since then I have been able to hide this monster and for the the past 8 years it would only occasionally rear its ugly head. However, when it did appear I lacked the tools to deal. Further the lack of progress in career/girls/life has begun to wear on me. Six years in banking had taken a toll on my zest for life, and my life seemed to being headed down a dark path. I picked up binge drinking, started driving drunk repeatedly (i can admit this now), even started smoking. Of course, I tried to deny it and say it wasn't too bad when my sisters or girls questioned me. I tried to portray an image of the same clean cut boy that came to Berkeley in 1997. In my heart, I knew I had changed. Religion became less important to me - even though I sat down to do puja every morning, it meant less to me. Further, I began to blame others for where I was in life. I did not get this job, because so and so talked shit about me. Or so and so got this job because he kissed ass. In both cases, I never took responsibility.

In any case I wasn't happy. I tried to put a happy face for my friends and used alcohol as an escape. However, except for getting fucked up, nothing much was happening - hence the big break in blog posts.

Anyhow, my friend Reena had recommended I try this Vipassana meditation course, which is a 10 day camp which teaches you how to meditate. To make matters worse, the entire 10 days, you cannot talk or communicate with anyone. Further, there is no activity besides meditating - I can't sit still for 10 minutes and have trouble focusing on one topic. For the past year, I thought this would be torture but as December approached, I thought an escape may be good for me. Just get away from it all. I applied Monday and got accepted Tuesday which is extremely rare. There is normally a one year waiting list for this camp. So when I got in, I called my parents who were somewhat surprised about this and my sisters who were worried that my mind would get more messed up, rather than become more at peace. Also, they did not like that I would be celebrating Christmas in the retreat. After convincing the family, I bounced. It was very liberating to get in a car and drive to Yosemite, where the camp was being held. I did not know what the next 10 days held, but I felt I was finally taking a step to change it all around.

Its hard to relay what the past 11 days were like. Never have I been on a bigger roller coaster in terms of emotion. Some days I felt so happy and things seemed finally at peace. Some days the anxiety monster came out, and all of a sudden it was 100 times bigger and I had to face in silence. I could not call my parents, my friends, etc to help me through it. There was no alcohol or TV to distract me. I could not even workout which always makes me feel better. I had to face it.

You all have seen Batman Begins - it was kinda like that, and truthfully I felt like Bruce Wayne (without the awesome hair and all the wealth). I was looking for happiness and a way to live. The place is in the hills of a Yosemite where they have built this monastery. This meditation is based upon Buddha's teaching and helps you on the road to enlightenment. In a simple version, it teaches you to observe what is happening in the world at that specific instant (not thinking about the past or future) and not reacting to it. Just observing it. So for example, if you have an itch, you can train your mind to say that is an itch, but I don't have to itch it and it will not bother me. You learn to separate your mind from your body. You learn to how to control the mind, and how to live with a calm mind. You learn that the monster's are simply in your head, and not real and learn not to react when they pop up. The less you react, the less you will be bothered by them.

Anyhow, the camp is beautiful. I got lucky and was able to score my own room which really helped my practice. The schedule was rough at first. 4am wake up, breakfast at 6, lunch at 11 and no dinner, lights out at 9. However, over time I got used to it and loved how much weight I had lost in a matter in 10 days. The food is all vegetarian and was very tasty, and the recipes were based on an Ayurveda diet. (Part of this diet was to release internal wind in your body, yes gas. So in the meditation hall people were ripping it like no tomorrow. Also given the fact we had our eyes closed, and are not supposed to react, people felt like they had a permanent hall pass)

My day was literally filled with meditation the entire day. The first day I just sat there and entertained myself with the stories from my blog and old movies, though I was technically only supposed to focus on my breath. I had to do something to pass the time. The other 50% was thinking about girls. Apparently I have a very perverted mine. I thought about all the girls I have hooked up and all the porn I have seen. I am glad I was wearing jeans, because I was constantly popping boners. For the sake of being honest, there are five rules you agree to while at the camp (no smoking, no lying, no killing, no sexual misconduct, no stealing). Given I was having these elaborate intense thoughts for hours each day, I convinced myself beating it was not sexual misconduct. So I did. Twice.

However, about around Day 3 my mind finally got tired of these thoughts and begin to relax and not run around. Like they say in the Last Samurai - "No Mind". It felt like I stopped thinking and just was. I know very extensional. The funny thing is that the thing I was most worried about (no talking for 10 days) really was not an issue. I mean my mind is very active and strong and kept me entertained. I have so many thoughts and memories, I never missed anyone or had the need to talk to anyone. In a way I was talking to myself the entire time. It is also very refreshing to finally focus on yourself. I was not worried about Facebook, or answering my cell, talking to parents, I was totally by myself. Further, not worrying about small talk was also refreshing.

Through this practice, your mind becomes more observant and you begin to realize what causes you to be angry. For example, one person might love Kobe and the other might hate Kobe. Therefore, it is the viewer who places this determination of Kobe's nature. You begin to realize that you are looking at Kobe with tinted glasses and how to take off the tint. Or another example is nerves. We are told that if we experience butterflies, we are nervous. However this is something we have become accustomed to and therefore whenever we feel butterflies we get nervous. But this is a connection we can break - no one says butterflies has to equal nervousness. Butterflies are just butterflies.

In a way, "3 Idiots" has alot of the same teachings. Finding your passion. Get out of the rat race. Find yourself and find your passion. Especially about the part of living in the present. Most of our life we are reliving the past and wishing we could change it, or worrying about the future - both which are fruitless activities. When I began to focus simply on the present, I began to realize how much I was missing out on. In terms of paying attention when people speak, and what my 5 senses were feeling.

Anyhow, overall the camp was awesome. I remember one day it snowed and I felt like a Shaolin monk as I walked through the snowflakes to the meditation hall. Also there were 9 deer that would roam the camp ground, which were amazing to watch. There were some days that were extremely tough as I faced my own monster, but I have finally figured out how to bring him down/or control him. 10 days will not cure me, but I do have the tools and the rest of my life to bring him down.

The last day we can speak which was important in the transition back to the real world. I started to talk to the others which was weird. Literally I could only say a couple sentences before getting tired. However, it was good to see that I was not alone in my struggles. Most everyone had a tough time dealing with their monsters - some greater than others. There were times I literally felt like my head was going to explode, and my mouth was getting pushed into my brain, which as you can imagine is scary as hell. But when I heard it was "normal", I felt much better - go figure.

The transition to the real world was tough. The drive home, I felt so at peace and so pure. My mind was so focused that I could hear the tires on the road. I drove home in silence because the radio was too much for me. Rather than being turned on, I began to observe how much sex there is in our society. Hooter's billboards, etc - there are boobs everywhere, and hot girls promoting stuff just hoping that I would make the connection to sex and look at it longer. But yeah, it was hard for me to have long conversations with my friends. However, I was super focused and was pulling all nighters without feeling tired.

So outside of learning how to meditate what else did I learn?
-I really do have this new view on life, and more specifically how impermanent things are, and how life is ALL about CHANGE. Nothing is forever. One day you are going to up, but one should now that in a year one may be down. The key is to be okay with both.
- Live in the present.
- Misery is caused by wanting something you can't have or having something that you hate. The key again is to have a clear and cool head in both of these situations. There is never a point to panic and think that the world will end if you dont get what you wanted.
-Mostly, I learned the importance of living a good life. If I live an immoral life, I can't expect to have good things happen to me or to go to heaven, just because I am a Hindu. What goes around comes around.
- There is alot of outside stimulus (other peoples thoughts, sex, music, blogs, phone calls) in the world. The more I let in the harder it is for me to be in tune with myself.
- Nothing irks me more than pissing in a bowl of someone elses piss. I understand being green and saving water, but for some reason that bothered me like crazy. I am okay with pissing in a bowl of my old piss, but someone's else? Forgetaboutit.

I highly recommend this course to all you guys and happy to talk in person about it. They say its not going to change you right away. But out of 10 times that you would get stressed/angry, one of those times you control and don't - it is a huge victory.

I am a Bitch

I know I told alot of you that I was retiring and saving the blog as a medium for me to reflect and write about my thoughts, but I could not stay away. There has been several instances of FAS...funny ass shit or thoughts that I felt I had to share. Unfortunately facebook is no longer a medium to do that, and re: twitter, I just don't have the patience or the discipline to write my thoughts in 160 letters are less.

So here I am. Back. I feel like Michael Jordan when he came back to the Wizards. I know I had a couple great years when I first came out and had some classic posts. However, two years later, I don't know what kind of moves I have and if I will just end up ruining my legacy. Frankly I am also afraid that my life has grown a bit stale as is common with those on the precept of turning 30. ( I am almost 99% sure I used "precept" wrong, but whatever). My days of getting black out drunk, are limited to bachelor parties/weddings and as for strip clubs, I only go when there is a bachelor involved.

I still find writing therapeutic, so rather than post my deepest thoughts here, I have started another blog, that will be an online diary. No I am not gay. I just think writing about shit, can help you. Case in point, I have been investing my savings for the last year or so with mixed success. Though I preach buy low, sell high, I found myself feeling left out whenever there was a big market rally, and would eventually buy high, and double down low. I just learned in CFA class that this is called escalation bias.

Anyway as I way to combat this phenomena I have kept an investing diary that has my logic for each trade, what was I feeling before the purchase, and how I felt when the market tanked 15% etc. At least being aware of my emotional state while trading has actually helped me alot. That and the market being above 10,000.

Blacking Out
As I mentioned above, the only time I have blacked out has been at bachelor parties. Unfortunately during the last one, I blacked out at the worst possible place. Inside a strip club. It was one of my boys bachelor party and we rented a winnebago to take 10 of us to Tahoe. After seeing how whack the strippers were in Tahoe during a previous bachelor party, I recommended we stop in Sacramento.

After going paint-balling, we stopped by a motel 6 in Sacramento to shower. We were all sweaty and grimy from the day, and we collectively decided this was no way to roll to a SC. I went to book the room and asked if we could get a discount since we only needed the room for an hour. He did not budge in price - damn chinese! The funny part he was looking me funny. I guess when I kept saying by the hour, he prolly thought I had a hooker with me. When I mentioned that all 10 dudes just need to shower, he prolly got even more freaked out.

Anyway we rolled to the strip club and found out it was fully nude and thus did not serve any alcohol. Mind you were were all super faded before we walked in. However the fact that the club would not let us buy overpriced drinks made us want to drink more. Luckily our RV was completely hooked up with liqs and we ended up spending as much time in the club as drinking in the RV which was parked right outside the club.

Long story short, the 4 hours we spent in the strip club felt like 10 mins. I spend over $150 on the bachelor, which given my financial status I prolly would not do. Apparently I had 4 or 5 dances, of which I remember nothing. Fuck me.

Spin Class
Being part of Bay Club really has helped me survive this bout with unemployment. Whenever I feel stressed, depressed or weak I go to the gym. It is surprising, I have actually made some good friends there and will randomly run into peeps throughout the city. The funny thing is that I don't think none of them know my actual name. Everyone calls me "G". I guess this started because I would write "G" rather than "gaurav" on the signup board for basketball, and well it just stuck. Plus it is easier to yell "Big G!!!" rather than "Big Gaurav".

Anyhow one of the many benefits of the Bay Club is that there are alot of hot girls who are also members. Like at times, I feel like I am in La. Problem is that the gym is the absolute worst place to hit on a girl. First of all, I think girls think alot more about their outfits that I do. While they will color coordinate outfits, i tend to wear the same sweatshirt and basketball shorts. its funny because, the outfit that is in my gym id, is generally what i wear to the gym 90% of the time, and that is a bit embarrassing. I do though enjoy the view and rather that gawk at these girls, use it as inspiration - "If i run one more mile, then I can get that girl". I know pretty lame logic, but whatever, 99% of the time, I do run that extra mile.

Lately, I have been attending more classes. Besides being a great workout, these classes are 90% women. I am not going to lie to you, seeing a really hot girl doing squats is an awesome sight. However, these classes kick my ass so much that mid way through I am more concerned about surviving and not having the weight collapse on me. On a positive note, I do have more respect for women - despite having a small frame, they lift alot and have more stamina.

Since leaving CS, I have really tried to lose weight and have been going to the gym everyday. I cook alot of my meals and have even cutback my drinking. rather than eating a slice of pizza after a night out, i now come home and make some eggs, because it is the healthier option. However, as I was cleaning out some files, I found a fat test that I had done in 06. I was the same weight and roughly the same body fat percentage then as I am now. Fuck me!!

After finding this out, I decided I need to focus more on cardio and decided to do spin. I got to the class a bit late and found a bike in the corner. Unfortunately this bike did not have normal pedals - rather, this bike had the pedals that required special shoes that pro bikers use (they snap in). So this girl suggests that there is an open bike in the front row, right in front of the teacher. What happens after is predictable. For the the next hour, I try to cheat and get called out in front of the class. Also for some reason, my shorts were loose, so I was super concerned that I was mooning some poor girl when I was told to "get out of the saddle".

Breasts
As many of you have taken extra care to comment on, I have man-boobs. Its not man-boobs from being overweight. I have seen people in the gym who are 300 plus, and they still have smaller breasts than I do. It is this reason, that I always hesitate to sit in a sauna with friends or jump in the pool at a pool party. For years I have tried to convince others that these were pecs, but I knew that I was lying. I don't know cup sizes that well, but I think I am about a "b" cup. (On a separate note, I have hooked up with girls who have smaller breasts than me, which lets just say is a very interesting conversation.)

I finally went to the doctor to ask him about it. His reaction was priceless when I took my shirt off. He hesitated and then said "There does seem to some extra fatty tissue" as he poked me with a pen. The next 10 minutes were dedicated to talking about me and my breasts. When did I first notice them etc, are they sore, etc. It is during these times I thank god I am not married - I can't imagine having the same conversation in front of my wife. Actually that brings up an interesting question. When we were kids, our mom would sit in the exam room while the doctor looked over us. Does this happen when you are married? would your wife sit through a exam like this?

I implored him to do whatever testing was required, including hormones,liver etc. I even asked him for an estrogen test, to which he responded "sure, its your $". When I went to the blood lab, the lady asked me twice if the doctor really was requesting an estrogen test, and not a testosterone test.

Anyhow, I finally got my results, and it turns out that my body is producing extra estrogen. So when you were saying "G, why are you being a bitch" or "G, stop being a pussy", you guys were actually right. FML.

I am now taking a medicine meant for ladies with breast cancer, which helps to reduce the size of my breast. Though I can bench 235+. the fact remains I got some man boobs. Fuck me.

Recent Movies/TV
I just saw "Up in the Air" and "Mary and Max" - awesome movies. "Angels and Demons", on the other hand was complete shit, especially since they mutilated the book.

I have been watching the new series of Friday Night Lights, which in my opinion is the best TV drama made in the last five years. I mean this show makes you feel every emotion, but always leaves you inspired. (The Lockerroom battle cry is "Clear Eyes, Full Heart, Can't Lose"). It has amazing complex characters, relevant story lines, and to top it off a great soundtrack.

Right now the show is played only on DirectTV, and then shows on NBC this spring. Of course I cant wait, so I have been downloading it and watch it on my laptop. Check it out.

Padma
I recently had a conversation about Padma wondering if the BK ad went to far. For some reason I thought she was a conservative cook, but well I guess she is not. I guess she was a model first. Thank god she found her true calling first. Enjoy.

For the first time in awhile, I feel like I am beginning to appreciate the smaller things in life. On Friday, Krime came up to the bay and we all went out. Krime, his sister and bro in law, and my cousin. I cant remember the last time on a Friday where the main event was dinner and drinks. No plan to go clubbing - just good drinks, good food, great friends and great conversation. We met at my house and walked over to North Beach to grab some Italian food. The weather was amazing and the people were definitely out. I guess I have lived this in area so long, I forgot how nice North Beach is. I guess when Krime kept saying how this was awesome (he lives in LA), I did began to appreciate it. What also was cool was that Friday was some kind of parking holiday, so alot of the parking spots now had tables - made for a great visual. Car Car, Table Table Car. Not feeling rushed to go out, I throughly enjoyed my night. We went to Mr. Bings, a small dive, to play some Liars Dice and then finished up the night at a high end restaurant called Bix for some live music and a nightcap.

Because Friday was not a rager, I woke up early Sat am trying to decide how to spend the day. Even though Cal game started at 9, i decided to sacrifice the first quarter for a little b-ball. There is nothing more relaxing than playing ball for me. But standard G, I can hit a 3 or mid range jumper, but i cannot for the life of me make a freaking lay-up. I have had this issue since 5th grade - I have spent hours shooting layups, but when it comes to gametime, i just spazz..It almost cost my team the first game, and given there was a 4 game wait, i would have gotten yelled at - people are hella emotional at the Bay Club and sometimes play cheap to avoid losing.
What is crazy though, I was watching the new Prius commercial, and one of the dudes i play ball with is in it.


Anyhow, rolled down to Stanford around 945am, which was a beautiful drive. I had the indian program blaring on the radio and was able to push my car to 90mph...ahah the maxima still has some kick to it. Got to see Domes and watched an awesome Cal game but it was cool just kicking it and catching up. Felt like we had not done that for a couple years. Jokes were cracking, talked shit about everyone we knew, had our obligatory exchange about Ravi, who provides endless humor. Again i was amazed how fun this can be. I think living in the city, I am def on the go, go, go mentality all the time - but something about coming to surburbia slows my thoughts down. We came back and watched some of his wedding video, which provided alot of laughs as well.

Afterwards I pulled up into a Barnes Noble to study for the CFAs. Barnes and Nobles, I think has just accepted that only 2% of the people there ever have the intention of buying something. I mean they all have Starbucks so you can enjoy a latte while you read all the magazines you want for free. They should prolly change that model somehow.Anyhow, I made a beeline to the magazines as well as I way to procastinate. Everyone should def check out the new Maxim for the Audrina spread - this girl from the Hills who looks awesome.

As I looked for a chair, I saw this book about Pat Tillman by the author of Into the Wild. From page 1, I was engrossed. Call me guju or unemployed I did not want to pay $30 for the book, nor did i want to wait 3 months to get it from the libary - yes I do have a library card and requests books from it. Deal. So for the next 2 hours I sat there reading, drinking my free water. Given the fact that Pat Tillman grew up in San Jose and went to the same high school as Somesh and countless others, made it home more. But seriously, you all should read this. Yeah we all know he gave up his football career for the Army, but he lived a life in a manner that I hope that I just can have one day with his mentality. He really was a self-reliant man, like Emerson, who had extremely high principles, high morals, very well-read and cultured and was always thinking. He kept a journal (the books has alot of his entries), loved fiercely, and surprisingly was very honest with his feelings. Like I said, def read it for yourself.


On Saturday went to Apt 24 for a bday party. After such a chill Friday and Saturday i was debating whether i should actually go. However I knew I would get yelled at if I did not go, so I headed over. Started the night with a little prepartying and then got into mood. One of the girls had gotten bottle service which was nice so we did not have to wait in line. I dont know what is happening but I actually think i am becoming guju. Ill buy $35000 of a stock randomly on a hunch and be okay with a 15% loss, but spending actual cash bugs me. Cant believe I am actually going to post this but yeah. Given that I was barely drunk, I decided I needed to take action. I could spend $60 at the bar to get drunk, but i was like fuck that. So i went to the liquor store two doors down, spent 10 for 4 shooters, and then walked back into the club. Gangsta Gangsta, huh?!?

My plan worked a little too well, and I woke up in an apartment with two girls next to me, one on the couch and on one the floor. Take a second to imagine the possibilities.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Sadly, it was not a fantastic victoria secret party where I was the guest of honor, I just ended up crashing at the bday girls place with all of her friends. I dont know if this happens to you, but I definitely had the moment of terror where I was like where the fuck am I. I popped up out of bed, tried to find my glasses and run home. Of couse my big ass made so much noise, everyone yelled at me to shut the fuck up, calm down and go back to sleep. I told them that I was leaving and got yelled at more, so I went back to sleep.

In the morning, I honestly felt like Jane Goodall, but instead of watching gorillas, i was watching five girls in their natural habitat post a night out. Holy shit, they talk alot of shit. It was unbelivable, they had a comment about every dude (one girl said "i am tired of these 5'5 guys", apparently while standing next to a short dude who unsuccessfully tried to hit on her) and had to recount the entire night - who was dancing with who, who made out with who, whose dress was slutty, who was being a bitch, etc. Luckily I was spared, most likely because I was there, though I sure the minute I left they unleashed. I wanted to leave so they could have their girl time, but every time I made a move for the door, I got yelled to sit down - apparently they felt super comfortable around me (which made me feel super gay).

It was pretty interesting for the first two hours to hear all this and see them talk shit, but then I began to feel uneasy and tired. On a sidenote, I hate sleeping in and need to be doing somethign by 10am. These girls were still all lounging at noon.
Having the Raider game on helped, but every two seconds one of these girls felt a need to learn the whole game of football from me.

However, the truth was I was holding all my gas in from the night and needed to safety like no one's business. Literally my stomach was grumbling because all the farts I held in. I felt like my ass could blow up a blimp. I was super scared that any sudden movements would cause the cork to pop and literally it would be game over. Further, I had to take one of those dumps after a big night of drinking, which are awesome because they stink like crazy and are huge. There was no way that I could that to her bathroom - I went to check to see if she had any airfresher in the bathroom, she had none.

When I finally left, I left this awesome trail of gas from her apt, down the long hallway, all the way to elevator. I prayed no one would get it on before the lobby. Glory!!!!!

I was about a $10 cab ride home, and my gujuness came out again and decided to walk home. Doing the walk of shame at 1:30pm down the embarcadero was hilarious... I got so many odd looks. The rest of the afternoon was spent in Barnes and Noble reading the next 100 pages of the book. Reading his journal inspired me to start blogging again. Some of my posts will be a little more serious and comment on life and some will be drunk ass stories - just a little warning.

As usual some random ass thoughts:

- I got the call from my mom that it is Navrati and she asked me not to eat meat for a week. I told her i would, but would still eat eggs. Anyhow, its only day 2, and its hard as shit. I dont know what I ate the first 18 years of my life, but i have already had burritos, pizza, sandwiches and asian. The next week will be intersting

- the new "just say no" commercial should feature Lamar and Khloe Kardasian. What the fuck is he thinking? Marijuana def fucked with his head. Hopefully it does not affect tha lakers, but now we are going to get the obligatory camera shot when she is at games. LO- u are an idiot. I said it. Oh yeah - apparently after a month of dating, they want to get married.

- I cant believe September is almost over - where the fuck is the year going? What have I accomplished. I hate this time of year. I need to make each day count more.

- Glad Mayweather won. Cant wait for Pacqaio now..mayweather has brought boxing back.

Dont Worry Be Happy!

After a tough day at work, I went to ask.men and found this great site called chickipedia, which led me to this video. This is guaranteed to put a smile on your face, even if you are a female. Great song and just what we call a feel good clip.

The Dream and the Conversation

I dont know if this happens to any of you, but I have a tendency to have the same dream. While I am sleeping, Ill recognize that it is the same dream and I have two options. I can wake myself up, essentially hitting reset, and get a new dream or I can continue to sleep and see if for some reason the dream will end differently. I know very weird.

Last night, I had my standard marriage dream, which I get about twice a month. Basically, somehow I dream that I am in a hotel room freaking out, because I am about to be engaged to a girl I barely know/ have no desire to get married to. However, in the dream my parents are trying to convince me to continue on as they have spent all this $$, and if I ditch this girl, it would crush her and her family. Word of my hesitancy leaks out, and then the girl comes into my hotel room, begging me to marry her.

she asks "whats wrong with me?" and pleads for me not to do this to her. At this point, I feel extemely stressed and the thought of marrying this girl puts me in pure agony. I dont beleive in divorce so this would be my wife for life. I feel like I have been given the death sentence by a judge. My family and my dad try to reassure me - it wont be that bad. That is the last thing you want to hear before you get engaged/married.

Luckily, before I have to make a decision of what to do, I am somehow able to wake up. Thankfully!!! Last nights dream was especially vivid, and I woke up sweating and honest to god afraid. I mean dreams about sharks, bankruptcy, losing my job, etc dont really scare me - its this situation. I quickly popped up and looked at my clock - 5am. shit. I laid 30 minutes trying to recover, actually afraid to fall asleep because I did not want to chance that I would have the rare two part dream. Does this happen to any of you?

Maybe because i am getting older, I actually fear that there is a 50% chance that this could actually happen. I was thinking of going to India this winter, but part of me is afraid of constantly being hassled about marriage. My family in India is extremely persuasive and I always fear that Ill come back from a day with the cousins and there will be a girl sitting there in the living room, who I am supposed to court. What happens if I tell my family the girl is nice, and next thing i know I have agreed to get married? Or i go to my chacha's house in the village and because I ate two ludos, I have accepted his marriage proposal. I know this shit all sounds paranoid, but welcome to my world.

To make matters more real and def worse, my nanni and mama called from India a couple hours after i had this dream. First question - are you working? I tell a white lie, and them I have an office and am happily working. What I dont tell them is that I am simply consulting for a couple startups at a very reduced price. But the next question simply made me laugh. As I have mentioned, when I went to india in 2005, my nanni was very worried about my hair loss. She cried about it, and went to her local lady and came back with all these bottles that were supposedly to grow my hair back. It is funny, I over the hairloss, and love having a shaved head. It makes getting ready easier, no hat hair to speak of. The only thing I have to worry is about sunburn. (this happened once, and believe me it is not a pretty sight. I have learned my lesson since)

Anyhow, before she asks how I am doing, she asks me in Hindi - "tell me about ur hair. Has it all flown away?" I tell her, while laughing, that yeah they are all gone, but the shaved look is working for me (and if not, people are great liars). She replies that " I have prayed for your hair, but I guess that is okay as well" She then implores me to get married before she dies, to which i tell her that she has a long time ahead of her. She appreciates my comment, and says "fine fine."

the funniest part was at the end when my nanni says " i dont want a moti". When I asked what she meant, she said she did not want a fat daughter in law....I love it. Moti girls do not get any love....

On a totally separate note, I was lucky enough to find this link on tmz.com and now its part of my morning ritual. CNN, etrade, tmz and then this.. Enjoy Amanda Kerr (NSFW)

http://splashnewsonline.celebuzz.com/2009/07/miranda-kerr-topless.html?bfm_index=4&bfm_page=0

...and of course my favorite...