G: The Cricket Olympian

Life sometimes amazes me. A bunch of small random unrelated events can lead to something simply unreal to what one of my buddies calls the greatest story to tell at a bar.

Random event #1 – I was at my friends Rishi’s house about two months ago to pick him up from the Gilroy Garlic Festival. We spent a couple minutes inside to play with his son. During that time, Rish was trying to buy tickets for the upcoming 49ers/Eagles game. Those who know me well, know that I am a lukewarm Raider fan and really would not be interested in going to the game. Anyhow, Rish’s card kept getting declined and so I told him he could use mine, and he convinced me it would be a fun game. At the time, I did not predict how bad the economy would get so I agreed.

Random event #2 – As I mentioned in a previous post I have lost weight. My once man-boobs are hitting puberty now and are showing some resemblance to pecs. In any case, I had put a lot of my clothes that were too tight for me in a suitcase that I was supposed to donate to charity including all of my jerseys. However, a couple days before the game, I thought I would go try these once tight clothes with the hope that they would somehow fit. I was actually surprised about how many things were fitting me – it was almost like I got a new wardrobe. One of things I salvaged was my Indian Cricket Jersey.

Sunday

I woke up Sunday completely hung over. Yat had come up this wknd and we had a huge Friday night and Saturday. Not only was it Fleet Week but it was my little sisters b'day and my older sister had come up. Needless to say, there was a lot of daytime drinking, bbqing, partying and even karaoking.

Anyhow, as one can imagine I was super tired on Sunday and was actually thinking of bailing on the game. I don’t own any pro football jerseys and I really did not want to wear my Lakers “Suck it Easy” jersey. I know how much northern Californians hate LA and I just did not have the energy to deal with all that shit talking. I saw the cricket jersey and thought it would be hilarious to wear. I also thought it would annoy Rish and Yat (hardcore Eagles fan) so I thought it was a win-win. Surprisingly, Yat did not comment on the jersey.

After picking up Yat’s friend, all four of us rolled to the game. As a side note, Yat's friend decided to wear a Giants sweatshirt to the game. Yes, he was that asshole. I think he learned his lesson as the Giants got their asses whooped on MNF and Eli got injured. The football gods have spoken that this kind of behavior is not acceptable.

Though we did not have the greatest tailgate, we still had a lot of fun. Because we BBQ’d the day before, Rish picked up some really good cheese steaks for us. What made us ghey was that I had forgotten to bring my football, and so we were left to tossing around my tennis ball. We might have as well been fobby Indian uncles. Luckily someone was nice to lend us their football, so we were able to get back some of our manhood. And of course we drank my favorite brew, Bud Light. It’s about Drinkability my friends.

Anyhow, we started walking to the gate and we happened to enter from the Entertainment gate. As we walked in to where they checked tickets, I noticed on the side there was a booth with a sign saying “Northern Californian Olympians Check in Here”. I really did not think much of it, honestly. However, as we were talking I saw a couple of white guys point at my jersey. I saw that they were Olympians as they had a ribbon saying such, and it crossed my mind that maybe these dudes thought I was an Olympian. I told Rish and Yat what had happened. Of course they thought it would be a good idea/ joke for me to go to the sign up table and try to convince the ladies at the signup table I was an Olympian.

G: "I am here to check-in for the Olympics event. I played cricket for India in the 2004 Olympics."
Lady #1: "Ok. What’s your name?"
I pull out my ID and tell her my name. It was one of the few times in my life I actually told someone my real name. Normally I say my name is “Vijay” or some shit in case it comes back to me.
Lady #2: "Umm your name is on the list. Are you sure you registered?"
G: "Of course I registered. I got an email confirmation."
Lady #1: "Do you have your email confirmation?"
G: "I did not bring it with me. I got it at home though."
Lady #1: "Umm ok... I would really like for you to send me an email when you get home confirming your confirmation. How did you hear about this event?"
G: "My coach emailed me. He knew that I am living in SF now, so he told me to come out."
At this point even though Lady #1 was giving me the evil eye, Lady #2 began to write my name on a name tag. I did everything in my power to keep my jaw from hitting the ground and maintaining a poker face.
Lady #1: "So what year and what sport did you play?"
G: "Played cricket in 2004." (I know cricket is NOT an Olympic sport. However, since I was wearing a cricket jersey it was the first thing that came into my mind. In retrospect, I showed said something that no watches like the marathon or some sports Indians def play like field hockey)
Lady #2 (still giving me the evil eye): "I did not realize cricket is an Olympic sport."
G: "Yes of course it is. It happened recently."
Lady #1: "Oh we are so sorry."

Attached to the badge was red, white and blue ribbon with “Olympian” written in gold letters. They also gave me a band for free liquor, a game ticket with seats 20 rows from the field (better than my actual seat) and a pass to come to the field at halftime. I was then told to report to a particular tent at the start of the second quarter before the actual halftime procession. FUCK ME!

I walked as quickly as I could to my boys and they were all like what the fuck. They thought I was going to get busted, esp. when I showed my ID. It was all too crazy to actually be happening. We quickly walked in through the gate. Because I was wearing the Olympian ribbon, I did not even have to show my ticket and was able to sneak in two cans of Bud Light into the game – its all about drinkability!!

We then walked to the field and I got some quick pictures before the game. I decided to sit with my friends instead of the other Olympians – I knew that for this shit to work, I had to spend the minimal time around other Olympians for they would see through this prank in a second.

We are all in utter disbelief but then it started hitting me when people actually started pointing at me. Some random thuggish Indians came up to me and said “Go India!” As I walked though the crowds, girls and adults were turning their heads. At the beer line, Yat tried to get some free shit from the vendor – “You got to hook up the Olympian.. how about a free beer for the Olympian?” She was too afraid to lose her job but she was impressed nevertheless and started asking me questions. She asked if I was a celebrity and before I could answer, Yat was Next thing I know she is asking me for my autograph. I shit you not.

We go to our seats which were still pretty good – fuck, we paid $90 each for them. The first quarter was awesome – Yat and Rish were in full shit talking mode (both were wearing Eagles jerseys). The interesting thing about the game is there were a SHITLOAD of Eagles fans everywhere. That gave me comfort knowing that Yat would not be the only one aggravating the surprisingly thuggish 49er fan base. To be fair, Yat was respectable – or at least as respectable that one could expect Yat to be.

The funny thing is that as first quarter ended and the minutes ticked by in second quarter, I started getting nervous. I mean REAL nervous. For some odd reason, I thought I was going to be caught for sure and all hell would break loose. Given that the Olympics has such as pristine name and is associated with such goodwill, I thought by essentially mocking the other athletes I would get in serious trouble. I thought the FBI would get involved and I would be charged with perjury and thrown out of the game. No joke. My mind was racing with all the possibilities and I actually don’t think I enjoyed much of the second quarter. I actually thought about skipping the halftime show – I mean getting the ribbon was a good story in itself.

Luckily, Yat and Rish were there to calm my nerves. They told me the worst case scenario is that I would get kicked out of the game, and I still had my unchecked ticket to get back in. Yat was kind enough to give me his beer to drink before I left. I quickly chugged it and started walking to the gate. Thank god for liquid courage.

During the walk, I was still nervous so I began to call every single person I knew to tell them what was going on. Naturally they all got excited and started to give me props which gave me a little more courage - if you all don’t know this, I feed off peer-pressure. This may sound ghey, but if I go to a bar I wont necessarily talk to the hottest girl on my own accord. However, if I am dared to, then I am like Superman. Nothing can stop me. Anyhow, mad props to Neel, Ravi, Amit and Bobby who I called as I was walking over.

I was supposed to get to the field at the beginning of the second quarter. However, due to my plan to minimize my time with other REAL Olympians, I got there with 10 seconds left. I walked on to the field, WHICH IS A BADASS experience, after I showed the security guard my on field pass. I was then directed to the halftime show organizer who was freaking out and was yelling at me for being late. “I just lost track of time” was the only thing I could say to her.

She then called up to some other organizers and said “Gaurav Agrawal is here”. I was like okay, its been two quarters now. They for sure will kick me off the field now. I saw that she was carrying the same clipboard where I had signed in earlier – I quickly pointed to my name as a desperate attempt to convince her I belonged here. She gave me a thumbs up sign and then got the word that I was supposed to be placed after Jim Smith – dumb ass girl placed me before him though in a rush.

There were like twenty Olympians in total and we started walking on the sideline of the field and spaced out. Luckily I was at the 45 yard marker. I could not freaking believe it.

I kept looking at the crowd all around from me. I turned to my right and Jim Smith was looking over at me. I looked at his tag and it said he was an Olympic weightlifter for 3 Olympics – that alone is pretty intimidating. He then of course looked at my nametag and said “I did not realize that cricket was an Olympic sport – I know it is a Commonwealth game, but I did not think it was an Olympic sport.” (I knew that other Olympians would fuck it up)

I quickly replied “Yes it is an Olympic sport” and avoided eye contact and focused on the crowd. I kept pointing to my boys – I had no idea if they could see me or not but I def would not be here if it wasn’t for them.

Luckily at this point the announcer said over the loudspeaker “We would like to welcome the Olympians from the past and those who just returned from China”. The crowd goes crazy as we started walking to the center of the football field.

Now at this point, I could not describe what I was feeling, but I will try to. It was sheer joy. I kept turning around and looking at the crowds all around from me. I felt like Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Shahrukh Khan and Michael Phelps all in one. I knew it was a fake, but I could not believe this was happening!! I wanted to yell “suck it easy” on the top of my lungs, but I resisted. I took hella video and pictures (that should have tipped someone off as I was the only one with a camera in my hand). In fact, I was reprimanded to put my video down. I waved to 50,000 fans as if I was Neil Armstrong and just returned from the moon.

And they started announcing each athlete's name, sport and the year he played in the Olympics and then each athlete was then supposed to walk 5 yards away from the line and acknowledge the crowd individually. I was in the middle of the lineup as I was a 2004 athlete. There were a couple athletes from the 60s and 70s there. You might ask why I said 2004 originally. I figured that there would be a lot of 2008 athletes here, so I thought by saying 2004 there would be a less of a chance that I would be called out. Also, while I am in shape, I am not in Olympic shape and no one could believe I had put all this weight on in less than two months.

As they were getting close to my Olympic year, I thought for sure they would not announce my name. Sure enough after announcing the girl to the right of me, they skipped me and announced Jim Smith. Now, I know I should be happy that I had made it this far, but I was a bit disappointed – I wondered to myself if I had gotten to the field a little sooner, the organizers would have had more time to add me the announcement schedule. I still was smiling and waving when I heard

“From the sport of Cricket in 2004…….GAURAV AGRAWAL”

At this point I let my camera drop to hang from my wrist and waved to the crowd (hence the video of my shorts in Part 2 of the videos). I could not believe they actually announced my name and they actually pronounced it right! I had thought of doing some bhangra, but I decided to be mature and just walked. Take a second to imagine this... I somehow was being cheered at halftime of actual NFL game.. for SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT EVEN EXIST! Unless I become a big bad ass when I grow up, this prolly the largest number of people who will cheer upon hearing my name! I could only imagine what was going with my friends in the crowd. I later found out that when I being announced, my face was on the Big Screen! Fucking unreal!

I really tried to take in as much of this moment as they continued down the line. I focused on my breathing and tried to force my mind to remember exactly how this feeling of pure happiness felt.

I was smiling ear to ear.. . I must looked a like a dog chasing his tail, because I kept spinning around as if I had to acknowledge every single fan.

I then realized there were hella cheerleaders around me, and I started to focus on them. Come on, which Olympian does not need a groupie? I went to a couple after and got some photos. As we got a final group cheer, we were told to walk back to the sideline. I took some more photos of cheerleaders and then tried to walk out a separate exit from the other Olympians. I was straight up giddy and really did not want to be kicked out.

Unfortunately a couple Kenyans followed me out this separate exit. Apparently, there were Olympians as well and they were huge fans of cricket. I was like shit, they are going to be pissed as hell and I am going to be in trouble. Instead they all busted up laughing as one went to shake my hand, he said, “We love cricket and we all know cricket is NOT an Olympic sport. We just want wanted to give you props for getting away with it. That was hilarious. How did you do it?” As I told them the story they laughed harder and we ended up taking a picture to commemorate this moment. To do a prank and get away with it is pretty good. But having someone random appreciate the prank and give you props for pulling it off is straight money.

I then walked back to Rish, Yat and his friend who gave me a mini standing ovation. They all gave me mad props and were just as shocked as I was. Yat then announced my "achievement" to our section. I actually dont think I watched much of the fourth quarter as I was making rounds getting props for being an Olympian. Girls were coming up to me and asking for pictures. It was straight comedy. I of course never broke character. When random dudes came up to me though, I told them the real story and it appeared they were more impressed that I pulled this shit off than if I had actually played in the Olympics.

The fact that the Eagles won and the Cowboys and Redskins lost had made everyone in the crew happy as hell. I walked closely to Yat to make sure he did not get into shit as he was chiding the 49er fans. I figured a cholo would not hit a guys with glasses, and if he did there was no way he would hit a former Olympian. In the parking lot, some dude actually recognized me from the halftime show and Rishi promptly told them the real story.

I am still in awe this happened. Fuck me.

As a sidenote, I got this email from Aashish the next day.

“My old boss – from Philly, was at the game and I was talking to him this morning. He said everyone in his section was asking each other when cricket became an Olympic event – G is famous!”Below are some pics and videos from the day.

Pics

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gauravagrawal/sets/72157608069295481/

Here are the videos from the field. You can hear my name at the :32 second mark in Part 2


Part 1:



Part 2:


Part 3:


Part 4: