Vodka is Evil
Every since my freshman year of college where I pretty much ODed on Popov and OJ and long island iced tea, I have been weary of vodka. I can have the occasional Red bull/vodka, or kamikaze shot, but nothing like most of my friends who can drink goose like it is water. In any case, I knew rolling with a bunch of guys I do not know to Vegas for the second time in a month, and after not drinking for 2 weeks I would be in trouble. (For those keeping record, I noted that I would be allowed to drink during this wknd)
The weekend started shitty, beginning on Thursday. Well, the weather was amazing - for those who are not in the Bay Area, it had been raining for what seems like 2 months now. I took a nice lunch at the Ferry Building and picked up new artwork at the MOMA for our pad. (As a fan of Pac-bell, I got a monster painting of Pac-bell - not SBC park, or ATT park - it is PAC-BELL). In any case, I decided to join some friends for happy hour and changed into my summer clothes, aka button shirt, rolled up sleeves, jeans and flip flops... Of course, within two hours, the wind picked up and by the time I got home I had a caught a cold.
When I woke up, I still had the cold and I was grouchy, namely because of another shitty dream. Have you ever been rejected by the girl of your dreams in your dream? This happened to me twice in the same dream.. I cannot describe how depressing it is to get rejected in a dream. And it was not getting rejected for sex or something crazy - a freaking date. I woke up around 4 and then fell asleep and it fucking happened again. So now I don’t even have a shot in my dreams. I took this as a sign and promptly removed her from my buddy list. Yes, I am that childish/ immature.
Anyhow, I got to work, I still felt sick. I must have taken 10 advils to help beat the cold, but alas nothing was working; so I had some chicken soup and went home around 12:30. (It was a partial staff day, so I did not count this as a sick day.) In any case, I woke up around 4, and thought the best way to beat the cold was to go to Vegas. Besides I knew it was to rain in San Francisco and sunny in Vegas, and I craved to lounge by the pool for hours on end.
The first night in Vegas had a rough start. I was supposed to stay with Ravi and his cousins, but when I got to the room, I already found 5 guys were crashing in a Harrah's room. I quickly called Rishi, and he told me I could crash at the Venetian with him and his friends. It was a no brainer.
I paid 50 dollars more to live like a king. (Apparently the daughter of the owner of the Venetian goes to GSB, so they got a phat hookup.) The rest of the bachelor party headed to voodoo lounge, so I told the guys that I would meet them there.
Then my dad called and told me I owe ~$14K to the government for taxes this year. So I have been in been in Vegas less than one hour, and am already down 14K. Fuck me.
I met Ravi up and we hit up Voodoo. The sad thing is that this bachelor party seemed like they had no idea of where to go in Vegas. We went to voodoo lounge where luckily I did not buy tickets ahead of time. there were like 5 people there and all white trash – meanwhile the rest of the bachelor party had got front of the line tickets for $40.
Luckily we salvaged the night by hitting up the OG. I never heard of it, but my bro-in-law and his crew raves @ it - and he was right. This place is awesome - lot of hot girls, and willing to do anything and everything. What made it better was that we were rolling with a girl named Barbie who was on her bachelorette party and owned a strip club in Miami. I nearly died when she told me that she has a permanent g-string tattoo, so at topless beaches she does not have to wear anything. Pause and do yourself the favor and picture that for a second.
OG was really nice for bachelor parties, and we got Rishi to go stage with some blonde twins who were the shit. I got them to give a wedgie at the end... no pain, no gain. Ravi and I then spent 4 hours there as the rest of the bachelor felt they had enough after an hour. Weak sauce.
Saturday was pretty uneventful. We sat around the pool - not that many hotties rolling around, so Rishi and I hit the tables. Meanwhile the rest of the bachelor party crew spent literally 3 hours trying to figure out which is better: Tao or Rum Jungle. They literally asked everyone at the pool, and help a blind vote. I was waiting for the SWOT analysis to come out. Imagine my surprise when the votes came out 8-7 in favor of Tao. How the hell was the vote even that close - who are these people?
Blackjack was cool, but we knew we had a limited time limit, so I had a bad feeling. I knew we were doomed at the tables when Rishi lost a 100 dollar bet with 18 and the dealer showing 6. After 20 minutes we were down to our last 15. After winning two hands in a row, we each put our 60 down. Rishi hits BJ, and I hit BJ, and of course dealer shows A. Normally, I would take even in a sec, but Rishi would not allow it, and considering it was his bachelor party I agreed. Dealer then shows BJ. While we pushed, momentum was gone, and it was only then a matter of time before we lost the rest of the money.
The night started off awesome. we pre-drank and played an awesome drinking game, whereby I was already ready to holler at some girls at 8PM. Of course I knew going to all you can eat Brazilian steakhouse would be a bad idea, but well its hard to tell people all you want is a Mickey D sandwich, otherwise you will get sick.
We ate, and the food was awesome. I even played some War while we were waiting for the table, which actually is a fun ass game. Then we went to Tao, and they ordered 3 bottles of vodka, some rum, and JD. I thought I would be chilling with JD the whole night. I was kind of full and was not in the drinking mood, but considering we had a skybox, and I paid some serious cash for that, I thought might as well do it. By the way, there was a girl in bathtub chilling with a flowers covering her nips and a girl in lingerie convulsing from our bed. Needless to stay I spent the better part of the night staring at them.
After 4 red bull vodkas, one daniels shot, I made the mistake of thinking I could think I could take a vodka shot. Nope. I looked for gum, which helps sober me up, but Venetian has a policy not to sell gum for obvious reasons.
So I thought I would go walk around and try to holler. Of course, I did not know any of the people at the bachelor party that well, so I was hollering alone. Believe it or not, I ended up in the black abyss. What is it @ Tao and the black abyss. One girl was hot who was a freshman at Las Vegas State (aka not that smart), but her friends were whack and fat. At this point, I was pretty wasted and brought them to the box. Of course I got a lot of flak for this, but a.) no one else was making an effort and b.) ass is ass. We chilled for a little bit, but after awhile so many people told me to get them out, I told them their time was up, and they needed to leave. When they just made some excuse @ having one more free drink I then told security to get the fat girls out of here.
After this I do not know what happened. I remember going to the bathroom, and taking a nap, aka passing out. I woke up with a bouncer pulling at me. He told me I needed to leave because I yakked everywhere. I told him to shove it and I had a skybox. I told them he was full of shit, and he told me to look down. puke all over. I laughed and told him he was right. I was not even mad.. He led in a maze under the casino so that no one would see what I had done. I thought this was a nice touch, and tried to start a conversation with that guy. He was nice, and then he lead me to security where they led me to the room.. Imagine my surprise when Rishi was in the room. I passed out only to be awaken by the rest of the guys who were coming into the room from partying. I realized I had a 820 flight and it was 730. Somehow I made the flight, though I pissed alot of people as I cut in every line possible.
Survived the flight and went to the parking lot to my car. Only to realize that my keys were still in vegas. fuck me.
Sidenote: Somesh came with a one set of spare keys, and it did not fit. I threw in some bushes as I did not want to get confused, and knew I had another set at the office. Went yesterday and those keys did not work, which meant the set that Somesh brought were the right ones. Somehow I found them in the bush and started the guy. The parking guy let my ride who brought me to the lot for free, and I just went behind her. Did not pay for shit.
The weekend started shitty, beginning on Thursday. Well, the weather was amazing - for those who are not in the Bay Area, it had been raining for what seems like 2 months now. I took a nice lunch at the Ferry Building and picked up new artwork at the MOMA for our pad. (As a fan of Pac-bell, I got a monster painting of Pac-bell - not SBC park, or ATT park - it is PAC-BELL). In any case, I decided to join some friends for happy hour and changed into my summer clothes, aka button shirt, rolled up sleeves, jeans and flip flops... Of course, within two hours, the wind picked up and by the time I got home I had a caught a cold.
When I woke up, I still had the cold and I was grouchy, namely because of another shitty dream. Have you ever been rejected by the girl of your dreams in your dream? This happened to me twice in the same dream.. I cannot describe how depressing it is to get rejected in a dream. And it was not getting rejected for sex or something crazy - a freaking date. I woke up around 4 and then fell asleep and it fucking happened again. So now I don’t even have a shot in my dreams. I took this as a sign and promptly removed her from my buddy list. Yes, I am that childish/ immature.
Anyhow, I got to work, I still felt sick. I must have taken 10 advils to help beat the cold, but alas nothing was working; so I had some chicken soup and went home around 12:30. (It was a partial staff day, so I did not count this as a sick day.) In any case, I woke up around 4, and thought the best way to beat the cold was to go to Vegas. Besides I knew it was to rain in San Francisco and sunny in Vegas, and I craved to lounge by the pool for hours on end.
The first night in Vegas had a rough start. I was supposed to stay with Ravi and his cousins, but when I got to the room, I already found 5 guys were crashing in a Harrah's room. I quickly called Rishi, and he told me I could crash at the Venetian with him and his friends. It was a no brainer.
I paid 50 dollars more to live like a king. (Apparently the daughter of the owner of the Venetian goes to GSB, so they got a phat hookup.) The rest of the bachelor party headed to voodoo lounge, so I told the guys that I would meet them there.
Then my dad called and told me I owe ~$14K to the government for taxes this year. So I have been in been in Vegas less than one hour, and am already down 14K. Fuck me.
I met Ravi up and we hit up Voodoo. The sad thing is that this bachelor party seemed like they had no idea of where to go in Vegas. We went to voodoo lounge where luckily I did not buy tickets ahead of time. there were like 5 people there and all white trash – meanwhile the rest of the bachelor party had got front of the line tickets for $40.
Luckily we salvaged the night by hitting up the OG. I never heard of it, but my bro-in-law and his crew raves @ it - and he was right. This place is awesome - lot of hot girls, and willing to do anything and everything. What made it better was that we were rolling with a girl named Barbie who was on her bachelorette party and owned a strip club in Miami. I nearly died when she told me that she has a permanent g-string tattoo, so at topless beaches she does not have to wear anything. Pause and do yourself the favor and picture that for a second.
OG was really nice for bachelor parties, and we got Rishi to go stage with some blonde twins who were the shit. I got them to give a wedgie at the end... no pain, no gain. Ravi and I then spent 4 hours there as the rest of the bachelor felt they had enough after an hour. Weak sauce.
Saturday was pretty uneventful. We sat around the pool - not that many hotties rolling around, so Rishi and I hit the tables. Meanwhile the rest of the bachelor party crew spent literally 3 hours trying to figure out which is better: Tao or Rum Jungle. They literally asked everyone at the pool, and help a blind vote. I was waiting for the SWOT analysis to come out. Imagine my surprise when the votes came out 8-7 in favor of Tao. How the hell was the vote even that close - who are these people?
Blackjack was cool, but we knew we had a limited time limit, so I had a bad feeling. I knew we were doomed at the tables when Rishi lost a 100 dollar bet with 18 and the dealer showing 6. After 20 minutes we were down to our last 15. After winning two hands in a row, we each put our 60 down. Rishi hits BJ, and I hit BJ, and of course dealer shows A. Normally, I would take even in a sec, but Rishi would not allow it, and considering it was his bachelor party I agreed. Dealer then shows BJ. While we pushed, momentum was gone, and it was only then a matter of time before we lost the rest of the money.
The night started off awesome. we pre-drank and played an awesome drinking game, whereby I was already ready to holler at some girls at 8PM. Of course I knew going to all you can eat Brazilian steakhouse would be a bad idea, but well its hard to tell people all you want is a Mickey D sandwich, otherwise you will get sick.
We ate, and the food was awesome. I even played some War while we were waiting for the table, which actually is a fun ass game. Then we went to Tao, and they ordered 3 bottles of vodka, some rum, and JD. I thought I would be chilling with JD the whole night. I was kind of full and was not in the drinking mood, but considering we had a skybox, and I paid some serious cash for that, I thought might as well do it. By the way, there was a girl in bathtub chilling with a flowers covering her nips and a girl in lingerie convulsing from our bed. Needless to stay I spent the better part of the night staring at them.
After 4 red bull vodkas, one daniels shot, I made the mistake of thinking I could think I could take a vodka shot. Nope. I looked for gum, which helps sober me up, but Venetian has a policy not to sell gum for obvious reasons.
So I thought I would go walk around and try to holler. Of course, I did not know any of the people at the bachelor party that well, so I was hollering alone. Believe it or not, I ended up in the black abyss. What is it @ Tao and the black abyss. One girl was hot who was a freshman at Las Vegas State (aka not that smart), but her friends were whack and fat. At this point, I was pretty wasted and brought them to the box. Of course I got a lot of flak for this, but a.) no one else was making an effort and b.) ass is ass. We chilled for a little bit, but after awhile so many people told me to get them out, I told them their time was up, and they needed to leave. When they just made some excuse @ having one more free drink I then told security to get the fat girls out of here.
After this I do not know what happened. I remember going to the bathroom, and taking a nap, aka passing out. I woke up with a bouncer pulling at me. He told me I needed to leave because I yakked everywhere. I told him to shove it and I had a skybox. I told them he was full of shit, and he told me to look down. puke all over. I laughed and told him he was right. I was not even mad.. He led in a maze under the casino so that no one would see what I had done. I thought this was a nice touch, and tried to start a conversation with that guy. He was nice, and then he lead me to security where they led me to the room.. Imagine my surprise when Rishi was in the room. I passed out only to be awaken by the rest of the guys who were coming into the room from partying. I realized I had a 820 flight and it was 730. Somehow I made the flight, though I pissed alot of people as I cut in every line possible.
Survived the flight and went to the parking lot to my car. Only to realize that my keys were still in vegas. fuck me.
Sidenote: Somesh came with a one set of spare keys, and it did not fit. I threw in some bushes as I did not want to get confused, and knew I had another set at the office. Went yesterday and those keys did not work, which meant the set that Somesh brought were the right ones. Somehow I found them in the bush and started the guy. The parking guy let my ride who brought me to the lot for free, and I just went behind her. Did not pay for shit.
posted by G at
12:01 PM
2 Comments:
wow. great post. so many thoughts, so little time.
wait - you are friends with the 'girl of your dreams'? i need to do some research on this.
do you EVER work?
grey goose is the best...what guys drink rum? unless it's spiced rum...and you're right...who the f*ck are the 7 people who voted for rum jungle???
although i'm not one to talk, ass is NOT NECESSARILY ass
the most important thing i learned (although i pretty much knew it before anyways) is that GSB are whack-ass...no sour grapes here...in hindsight i'm glad i got the ding, cuz if i got in, i would have gone there and hated myself for 2 years...and everyone else would hate me too
Great post. How do you manage to get rejected twice in one night in your dreams? Amazing ...
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