Laws, Monkeys and Bulldogs
There are certain things in life that I have accepted as natural law.
-Kill or be Killed.
- If you leave man in an unregulated environment, chaos will ensue - see Lord of the Flies and today's financial crisis (is there a better Piggy than George W. Bush?)
- I will never see the LA that exists for E, Vince and the crew in Entourage. Speaking of, in real life, a fat funny guy like Turtle has the same chance of hooking up with Meadow as I do with Tina Fey. Yes I said it - Tina Fey is hot (And the first person who told me that was Shaskank so I have to give him props)
- I am a superficial person when it comes to ladies.. if i dont know you, then i need you to be cute for me to like you and want to get to know you better. However, if I know you well and find your personality awesome, then I will think you are hot and it does not matter what you look like. Welcome to my life.
- There is no such thing as monitoring a buzz for me - i am either sober or drunk. Hence, I am going to say dry for December (I somehow was able to follow thru with that during Big Game).
- Cal will always be better than that lesser known junior college across the bay aka Stanfurd.
- As much as I want to get into a fight, I will never throw a punch (I like my eyeglass frames alot)
- Driving to LA alone always seems like a better idea when I am in SF than when I am on the 5, struggling to stay awake listening to some vato music
- Sagging will never go out of style
- I will never be good at video games. I played Call of Duty 4 with the white boys three weeks ago and I was passed among teams likes a cheap whore. Seriously, no one wanted to be on my team. It did not help when that opposing teams would have 60 kills and i would maybe have one. It reminded me of when we went to Europe with this snoring bastard named Vikas. we all agreed to share the burden equally.
- I will never make a layup with any consistency in basketball.
- I in the end am a loner - I like to do a lot of things by myself - read, eat watch movies, workout and sleep (While I like sleeping with ladies, sometimes I get annoyed if they sleep over after, especially if they are heavy breathers). Fuck it, I am not a loner, I am self-reliant.
- I will never be great at daytrading - I have to believe I am Warren Buffet and that its all about the long-term.
- If I was stuck on an island and to choose only one food item for the rest of my life, I would choose eggs. Seriously, I go through 18 in like 4 days..My cholesterol must be off the hook.
- I will never win a sports bet, and if I do its a complete fluke.
- On the same lines, if you have a question about sports or music trivia, dont bother asking me because 99% of the time, I dont know.
- I have found a weird sense of peace in cleaning a kitchen, and love to come home to empty sink. It makes me feel like a grown-up.
- If I wash 20 socks, I will be only to make 4 pairs and then rest will live their life in my single sock drawer.
- Despite a period where I wore speedos for three years straight and even had a pair of French cut speedos, I shall never dawn them again. Though when my mom was cleaning out my closet, I still could not throw them away....
- I will never be comfortable eating meat in front of my parents, though I suprisingly take real delight in passing gas in front of my sisters.
- Like a baby, I am most happy when I am allowed to powernap around 2, or about one hour after lunch.
- When unemployed, one will find the most awesome videos on the Internet. Check this latest one out from a Japanese show...it is sweet!
-Kill or be Killed.
- If you leave man in an unregulated environment, chaos will ensue - see Lord of the Flies and today's financial crisis (is there a better Piggy than George W. Bush?)
- I will never see the LA that exists for E, Vince and the crew in Entourage. Speaking of, in real life, a fat funny guy like Turtle has the same chance of hooking up with Meadow as I do with Tina Fey. Yes I said it - Tina Fey is hot (And the first person who told me that was Shaskank so I have to give him props)
- I am a superficial person when it comes to ladies.. if i dont know you, then i need you to be cute for me to like you and want to get to know you better. However, if I know you well and find your personality awesome, then I will think you are hot and it does not matter what you look like. Welcome to my life.
- There is no such thing as monitoring a buzz for me - i am either sober or drunk. Hence, I am going to say dry for December (I somehow was able to follow thru with that during Big Game).
- Cal will always be better than that lesser known junior college across the bay aka Stanfurd.
- As much as I want to get into a fight, I will never throw a punch (I like my eyeglass frames alot)
- Driving to LA alone always seems like a better idea when I am in SF than when I am on the 5, struggling to stay awake listening to some vato music
- Sagging will never go out of style
- I will never be good at video games. I played Call of Duty 4 with the white boys three weeks ago and I was passed among teams likes a cheap whore. Seriously, no one wanted to be on my team. It did not help when that opposing teams would have 60 kills and i would maybe have one. It reminded me of when we went to Europe with this snoring bastard named Vikas. we all agreed to share the burden equally.
- I will never make a layup with any consistency in basketball.
- I in the end am a loner - I like to do a lot of things by myself - read, eat watch movies, workout and sleep (While I like sleeping with ladies, sometimes I get annoyed if they sleep over after, especially if they are heavy breathers). Fuck it, I am not a loner, I am self-reliant.
- I will never be great at daytrading - I have to believe I am Warren Buffet and that its all about the long-term.
- If I was stuck on an island and to choose only one food item for the rest of my life, I would choose eggs. Seriously, I go through 18 in like 4 days..My cholesterol must be off the hook.
- I will never win a sports bet, and if I do its a complete fluke.
- On the same lines, if you have a question about sports or music trivia, dont bother asking me because 99% of the time, I dont know.
- I have found a weird sense of peace in cleaning a kitchen, and love to come home to empty sink. It makes me feel like a grown-up.
- If I wash 20 socks, I will be only to make 4 pairs and then rest will live their life in my single sock drawer.
- Despite a period where I wore speedos for three years straight and even had a pair of French cut speedos, I shall never dawn them again. Though when my mom was cleaning out my closet, I still could not throw them away....
- I will never be comfortable eating meat in front of my parents, though I suprisingly take real delight in passing gas in front of my sisters.
- Like a baby, I am most happy when I am allowed to powernap around 2, or about one hour after lunch.
- When unemployed, one will find the most awesome videos on the Internet. Check this latest one out from a Japanese show...it is sweet!
posted by G at
7:41 AM
2 Comments:
i also like how you read alone...you should try to mix it up and make it a social thing
wtf is a french cut spee...you know, never mind.
and while if i ever get married tina fey would most likely make my "celebrity" list, especially after nov. 4, i would not describe her as hot in the conventional sense. but she is lovely, and alec baldwin could do a lot worse.
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