Cockblocking in my Sleep
There are guys out there who the minute you are talking to a fine girl in a bar, will swoop in like a snake and fuck up your game. And they know what they are doing is f'd up as they will not even make direct eye contact with you, as they chat it up with the girl. I call this the Cockblocker.
What is worse than a Cockblocker? The Hater. The Hater is guy who thinks he is mad game and just hates on everyone else's game. He clowns another's honest attempt to talk to the girl, hates on people who has more game with him, and hates on the girl if she says no. All in all, a very frustrating person to party with. We all know people who are in this category and while they may be great guys to watch a game with, they are horrible to party with. I have tried to surround myself with guys that are true wingmen. guys that will help your game by bringing up subjects where you know a joke, and generally making you look good in front of a girl.
In any case, this wknd, I was accused of cockblocking in my sleep, or rather by my sleep. I think I am innocent, but I will let you decide.
First, a little background:
Ill be the first guy to admit, I am not the easist guy to share a room/bed with. I toss. I kick. I drool sometimes. In fact just last year after a heavy night of drinking, I ended up crashing at my friends, Vikas's place in Pasadena. He was trying to get some ass, so he crashed on sofa with some girl. That left Ravi, a girl who will go nameless and me to crash. Anyhow, it would make sense that the arrangement would be Ravi, Nameless Girl, and me in the bed . However, it ended up Ravi, me and then Nameless Girl. Insert all your jokes here.
Anyhow, when we woke up, the Nameless Girl said to me, "You are the most difficult guy to sleep next to." I spent the whole night keeping my gas in, so I thought I deserved a compliement, but whatever. I went to family room to see what was up with Vikas. Then I felt the burble of 20 farts pent up from the night. While I know I prolly could have held it, I unleashed. The sheer shock in the girl's eyes made it all worthwhile. She screamed, "Gaurav, what the hell! That is disgusting!!!" I responded," Its the morning. Its allowed." It was the best excuse I could think of with a straight face. (Poll: What do you guys do when you have gas and you are next to a woman? Do you hold it in, go to the restroom? How long do you have to know a girl, before you can unleash?? Please comment, as I need to know)
Back to the last weekend:
After being escorted to the room by the Venetian security , I got out of my puke clothes and changed into my shorts passed out. So those who dont know, I snore. Not heavy breathing, but lawn mower shit. My mom clowns me its so bad. Sometimes its so loud, I actually wake myself up. This is why I am scared to fall asleep in public places. (Somesh has videos of me snoring. Its not a pretty sight. Even if I figure out how to post videos, it is unlikely that I will do it. You will have to contact him directly.)
In any case, one of the white guys from the bach party managed to score a girl. he forgot her name, so he called her doctor all night. Anyhow, he hooks up with her at the club, and then takes her to the spa where she strips down all the way and he goes in with his boxers. After some light petting and who knows what else, he decides to bring the girl upstairs to seal the deal.
So as the story was told to me, he opens the door happy as shit, as he knows he is going to get laid. However as he opens the door, she hears me snoring full on. From what I heard, she said it sounded like a pig was choking. In anycase, she then turned around and told the guy, " I just cant do it (on account of my snoring)." He begged her for 15 minutes, saying he would play music, etc, but she would not comply and eventually walked away
I nearly died from laughter when I heard this. Can you imagine this girls state of mind? She decides that while she can strip down to nothing for a stranger, but she cant have sex due to my snoring. It gets sad when you think of this scene from that guys perspective. He is denied sex because some chintu indian , which he has barely met is snoring.
While it is a bit embarassing for me, I think there are 2 valid questions that need to be answered:
1.) Why did he bring the girl back to the room where 3 other guys were sleeping, when he had her naked in the spa alone? Why not close the deal in the spa?
2.) If he heard me snoring, why did he not push me to my side, or better yet, tell me to sleep outside? As a good wingmen, I would have totally slept in the hallway or the bathroom, but he did not even try either one...
What do you guys think? Cockblocking in my sleep. Fuck me . What a way to get a reputation. I hope no one remembers this at Rishi wedding, since all of family friends and family will be there, as I have known Monica since childhood.
What is worse than a Cockblocker? The Hater. The Hater is guy who thinks he is mad game and just hates on everyone else's game. He clowns another's honest attempt to talk to the girl, hates on people who has more game with him, and hates on the girl if she says no. All in all, a very frustrating person to party with. We all know people who are in this category and while they may be great guys to watch a game with, they are horrible to party with. I have tried to surround myself with guys that are true wingmen. guys that will help your game by bringing up subjects where you know a joke, and generally making you look good in front of a girl.
In any case, this wknd, I was accused of cockblocking in my sleep, or rather by my sleep. I think I am innocent, but I will let you decide.
First, a little background:
Ill be the first guy to admit, I am not the easist guy to share a room/bed with. I toss. I kick. I drool sometimes. In fact just last year after a heavy night of drinking, I ended up crashing at my friends, Vikas's place in Pasadena. He was trying to get some ass, so he crashed on sofa with some girl. That left Ravi, a girl who will go nameless and me to crash. Anyhow, it would make sense that the arrangement would be Ravi, Nameless Girl, and me in the bed . However, it ended up Ravi, me and then Nameless Girl. Insert all your jokes here.
Anyhow, when we woke up, the Nameless Girl said to me, "You are the most difficult guy to sleep next to." I spent the whole night keeping my gas in, so I thought I deserved a compliement, but whatever. I went to family room to see what was up with Vikas. Then I felt the burble of 20 farts pent up from the night. While I know I prolly could have held it, I unleashed. The sheer shock in the girl's eyes made it all worthwhile. She screamed, "Gaurav, what the hell! That is disgusting!!!" I responded," Its the morning. Its allowed." It was the best excuse I could think of with a straight face. (Poll: What do you guys do when you have gas and you are next to a woman? Do you hold it in, go to the restroom? How long do you have to know a girl, before you can unleash?? Please comment, as I need to know)
Back to the last weekend:
After being escorted to the room by the Venetian security , I got out of my puke clothes and changed into my shorts passed out. So those who dont know, I snore. Not heavy breathing, but lawn mower shit. My mom clowns me its so bad. Sometimes its so loud, I actually wake myself up. This is why I am scared to fall asleep in public places. (Somesh has videos of me snoring. Its not a pretty sight. Even if I figure out how to post videos, it is unlikely that I will do it. You will have to contact him directly.)
In any case, one of the white guys from the bach party managed to score a girl. he forgot her name, so he called her doctor all night. Anyhow, he hooks up with her at the club, and then takes her to the spa where she strips down all the way and he goes in with his boxers. After some light petting and who knows what else, he decides to bring the girl upstairs to seal the deal.
So as the story was told to me, he opens the door happy as shit, as he knows he is going to get laid. However as he opens the door, she hears me snoring full on. From what I heard, she said it sounded like a pig was choking. In anycase, she then turned around and told the guy, " I just cant do it (on account of my snoring)." He begged her for 15 minutes, saying he would play music, etc, but she would not comply and eventually walked away
I nearly died from laughter when I heard this. Can you imagine this girls state of mind? She decides that while she can strip down to nothing for a stranger, but she cant have sex due to my snoring. It gets sad when you think of this scene from that guys perspective. He is denied sex because some chintu indian , which he has barely met is snoring.
While it is a bit embarassing for me, I think there are 2 valid questions that need to be answered:
1.) Why did he bring the girl back to the room where 3 other guys were sleeping, when he had her naked in the spa alone? Why not close the deal in the spa?
2.) If he heard me snoring, why did he not push me to my side, or better yet, tell me to sleep outside? As a good wingmen, I would have totally slept in the hallway or the bathroom, but he did not even try either one...
What do you guys think? Cockblocking in my sleep. Fuck me . What a way to get a reputation. I hope no one remembers this at Rishi wedding, since all of family friends and family will be there, as I have known Monica since childhood.
posted by G at
10:10 AM
2 Comments:
first of all, gaurav, i dont think i can be friends with you anymore. getting rejected in your dreams. cockblocking in your sleep. where does it end???
anyways, this dude has no legit beef. if he can't close the deal b/c you are snoring, it's not your fault. granted, your snoring is off-the-charts, but people snore. either this bitch needs to get used to it, or rishi's friend needs to do a better job of deal-closing (let me guess - GSB??? he's probably so pissed cuz he was finallly gonna lose his virginity)
fucking hilarious
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