Kevin Smith, The Beast and Me

The internet had its boom when companies with no revenue were going public and its fall and now tech is back. The same thing could be said about Cal football - NOW WE ARE #3 IN THE NATION!!

I guess the same thing can be said about blogging. There was a time in 2005, where everyone had a blog and would post regularly. My morning would consist of reading blogs - some of which were my friends, and some belonged to random people. Now, I have become less regular @ posting and since no one outside of Shashank posts anymore, I have to actually do work in the morning. In any case I am going to fight this down cycle and try to post more often. Below are a collection of random moments since my last post:

Sister - As most of you know I have a younger sister who is a doctor. Now in the past, this position has given her power to inquire about my every detail. My parents have forced me to let her practice on me - I have had reflexes tested had a physical done too many times to count. When I had my surgery, she even wanted to be in the operating room. Now l love my sister, but I had to draw the line somewhere. Sometimes I get annoyed and tell her she is just a 4th year med student (a lame comeback), but mom tells me to shut up and to listen to her.

Lately, I found a way to flip the script and have some fun with her. Because she has all this medical knowledge, I sometimes make up issues and email her to get her reactions and try to gross her out . Of course because I am a guy, shit is the topic of choice. Comments like " I have not shat in 4 days and my stomach is getting bigger" or “ “I just shat water” are normal.

At first it worked and she was either really angry at me or disgusted. Now I think she has caught on though. As whenever I ask her @ shit, she decides it is the opportune time to describe the menstrual process. She has gotten really good at it and uses vivid imagery, to the point where I get thoroughly disgusted. Now she even sets me up for these conversations. This week she casually asked me if I remember the candy "gushers". I said that of course - I loved them. She then said “That is what is like.” Game. Set. Match.

TV - Growing up, my dad told me that I was addicted to TV. I thought he was just making shit up, but lately I admit I like TV. There are some shows I watch religiously. And with all the primetime shows coming back this week, I oddly find myself happier. It’s like I get to see some people that I have not seen in awhile. Go ahead - call me pathetic. I don't care. I find myself I identify days by which show is on primetime. Monday is Weeds, Hills (dont clown me till you watch it. Whitney is smoking) and Heroes and so on. What else do I watch? King of the Hill, Simpsons, Wonder Year reruns, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office, Nip/Tuck, Friday Night Lights, Rescue Me, Family Guy and once in awhile Real World.

I guess the reason I am bringing this up is that I recently went on a blind date. After going through the customaries, I found out that she does not own a TV. The rest of the date was spent talking @ what she does with her free time. I was just in shock. What the hell does she does do at 2 in the morning? Needless to say there was no second date.

Ghetto Life – I just went home a couple wknds and met up with my boy Krime on Sunday to catch up. We met up at a Carls Junior to kick it. If you have not been to Arcadia, it is a very rich town but only has one bar - you have to go to Pasadena or Monrovia to find anything really exciting to do .

Anyhow we were fucking around and cruising around the town, when two cholos pulled up next to us. This was not surprising. Though its nice and rich, Arcadia, like every town, has its share of wannabe gangstas. These guys stayed next to us and then yelled out of “Krime”. I was like what the fuck and at the same time amazed my boy knew these tier 3 wannabe gangstas.

They indicated that they wanted us to follow them and we pulled into a side street. Krime then told me that these guys were wannabe white dudes who tried to the cholos of Arcadia. I got out of the car and introduced myself.

G: “ My name is G – What’s up Bro”
Random Wannabe: “What’s up. I am Beast”

I nearly shat myself. Who the fuck introduces themselves to strangers as “Beast”. Krime is my boy’s nickname, but he never would walk up to someone and introduce himself like that. Since my boy told me they slang dope in Arcadia, I used all my strength to avoid laughing at him. I honestly did have not guts to introduce myself to Beast’s partner. Later I found out his name was Russell. Go figure. To live and die in Arcadia, I guess.

Gapeteria – It shouldn’t be a surprise to most of you as a banker, you are going to have shitty days. Clients want their shit yesterday, you have back to back to back calls all for different MD, and all the calls go long and have follow-up work. Your analyst seems to be fucking up every single number and your assistant just booked you on coach for a red-eye.

To counter days like this, I call up my friend Callie and head out to meet her for lunch. You see Callie works for the GAP, and we always have lunch at their cafeteria, which is coined the Gapeteria. Having lunch at the Gapeteria is heaven. First off the girl to guy ratio is like 10 to 2. And the girl to straight guy ratio is 10 to 1. There is also this huge patio that overlooks the entire bay. Also everyone is super stylish, good looking and just happy. Needless to say, I always come out of there the same way I do when I leave a strip club - happy, grinning ear to ear and looking fwd to my next visit.

Blast from the Past – I just got an email from one of the 3 people from my high school that I keep in touch with that our reunion is in two weeks. Truthfully, I am still on the fence whether I want to go. Some say things in the past should stay there.

I mean I was not the most popular or well regarded guy for most of high school. I took my APs, bet on hearts and Big 2 during lunch, and then was in the pool for water polo and swim team afterwards. I then got in my 1980 Volvo, had dinner with the family and then went in my room to do homework. There was no such thing as chatting until ICQ in senior year, and definitely no facebook or friendster. As a result, I really did not see anyone after school from my class. I think that playing a couple of varsity sports was the only thing that saved me from being a super nerd. I mean I was even a Boy Scout, though luckily no one in high school knew.

I knew a lot of people but kicked it with very few outside of school. Have you seen Superbad? To some extent this was what I was like in high school. I had my few family friends and we kicked it and rolled around our city doing our own shit. We would cruise Old Town, give each other fades and fuck around with turntables. (While I love hip-hop, to this day I cannot make out 95% of the lyrics of any rap song.) We were all clean kids – none of us drank, smoke cig or even had seen a joint. Man, how times have changed.

Anyhow, for some odd reason, this changed my senior year, when I think I became a fad. For some reason, I was considered cool and people wanted to kick it with me. Girls were asking me to dances and I went off campus for lunch. I even was selected to be part of this fraternity called “Senior Men” - we had jocks from the football team and wannabe nerdy jocks like me.

Anyhow, I think the reunion could be interesting. We had around 850 people in my graduating class and it would be good to see some faces that I have not seen in awhile. I am really curious to see what happened to some of the hottest girls in our school. While half of me hopes they are not doing shit in their lives (waitressing, etc), I really think it would be way better if some of them are doing big things (model for Maxim, etc). At least I would know someone famous and well real hot…..and the who knows what could happen.

I guess the only thing that sucks is that people may not recognize me. This has happened in the past. Honestly, I can’t blame them. I have put on a couple pounds since graduation. Here is a picture of me from my senior year…Fuck me.




(Do you feel this wannabe gangsta pic??? I think my mom was the one who took it..)


Perhaps no one recognizes me, which would not be the first time. I just recently met Kevin Smith on my trip to Toronto/New York. I am a huge fan of his movies but I was surpised how big that guy looks. Imagine my disappointment when I look at the pic we took and saw that. Fuck me.