Are you Circumcised?
Life is definitely interesting with a little sister in her third year at UCSF. I have a 24 hour on call physician as well as a constant reminder from my parents of how "at least one of us is a doctor". If I tell her I had a big night of drinking, she worries @ my liver and tells me to go get it tested. If I tell her I feel sick, she wants to come by and give me a check-up. When she needs practice on her testing, she comes over. I must have gotten my reflexes tested a dozen times.
At times its awesome to see my sister doing so well. But at times it can be weird as she is my LITTLE sister and now she is smarter than me. My arguments seem stupid considering she seems to kick ass in everything she does., and obviously is kicking ass in her career. And we all know a monkey can do i-banking.
The flip side is that she has become more sensitive about certain topics and more open about others. Both of which work against my advantage. For example, one time I mentioned that I will have a cig once in awhile and she started crying. The next day she took me to the cadaver lab to show me a smoker's lung, which I must admit is quite gross. I think she has seen first hand the effects of smoking and it hurts her to see her brother following the same footpath. Even now if I go to dinner with her and say I have to use the bathroom, she will check my breath to see if I smoked. I laugh at the idea of me smoking in a stall, but I guess she has good intentions.
The last month was especially weird, as my sister did her urology rotation at the VA hospital. We try to talk every other day, but now our conversations are becoming uncomfortable for me. When I asked her how her day was, she says " I looked at old people's testicles all day long." The statement is wrong on so many levels. First, I did not want my sister looking at testicles, and b.) I did not want to talk to her about it. Okay fine, it is wrong on two levels.
One time she then mentioned she had to cut off this guy's testicles - even writing that phrase is uncomfortable. My sister is a very petite girl, and the thought of her doing that to a guy is scary. I admit, I am a bit more afraid / have respect for her than I did in the past.
The worst was two weeks ago when over dinner, and out of nowhere she asked if I am circumcised. I am going to do you a favor and let that question settle in. Your little sister is asking you @ your dick. Over dinner. With everyone staring at you. I tried to laugh it off and then was like "What is wrong with you??" I know most guys and most girls know some dicks are clean and some have hats. The thing is that I don’t care if you have a hat or not. I feel the only people who should know that is my parents and random girls I have hooked up with. Other than that no one should know.
Anyhow, after all this nagging I decided to get a physical- something I have not done in a couple years. Going to the doctor after awhile is almost like going on a first date with someone. The amount of lying and weirdness is unreal. When I walked in, I had to fill out a 3 page questionnaire asking @ my family history. Truthfully, because we live in America, I don’t know what kind of problems my extended family has. I mean when you call India, you ask how they are doing, and 99% of the time everyone says they are doing fine. As a result, I just checked what was common amongst Indians - heart disease and high blood pressure. I guess I became self conscious and did not want the Doctor to think I came from a messed up family. It would be hilarious though if I checked all the boxes off and he looks it over and says “Man you are fucked..”
I got called by the Nurse and went to the room. I got bored and started to play with all the medical tools. Of course, the Doctor walks in the minute I am trying to get my blood pressure by wrapping the tool on my ankles. Great start to this visit.
He sat down and started going through the questionnaire. I had just met this guy and he already knew @ my family history and now wanted to know everything about me and was going to judge me. Consequently, in order to maintain my pride, every question he asked me, I answered with a lie.
"I see you have gained some weight.. have you been working out?"
- I have hired a trainer and have been working out twice a day. The weight gain is likely due to muscle gain.
"Do you smoke?"
- I would say on average one every 3 days.
"How many drinks would you say you have on a weekend?"
- I don’t count. I would say 10-12 all weekend
In truth I would say on average , I have 7-8 drinks, a couple beers and some shots per night. According to the Doctor this qualifies me as an alcoholic and should go to the AA. I mean this guy is trying to help me and I felt that I did not know him well enough to be straight with him. The whole time I was dodging questions.
“Are you sleeping around? Do you have protected sex?”
- At this point I was too embarrassed to tell him that I am not really in a position to be denying any kind of sex, even if it is unprotected. So I told him of course I am having protected sex. Plenty of protected sex.- If I going to lie, might as well make myself a champion.
We then move to the next part of the exam where we tells me to remove my clothes and we do the normal breathing exercises. The next part really freaked me out. He told me drop my boxers and he wanted to check my balls. Now, I am mature enough to know that this is part of the exam, but two things were wrong in my mind:
a.) he did not use glove.
This is wrong. Simply put. This is wrong.
b.) He was talking to me.
When my dick is exposed, I don’t like to talk to other guys (i.e. in the bathroom). At work, I hate it when my managing director stands next to me while taking a piss and talks shop. As a result, I usually go to the stall just so I can have some privacy.
Anyhow, the Doctor continues to talk about how I should check my balls in the shower for lumps.. at this point I was getting real uncomfortable. The thought of farting crossed my mind. Can you imagine his reaction??? He would be in obvious pain/disgust, but he would have to be professional. That would be awesome.
In all honesty, I have been in the opposite scenario at work and it is hard to maintain your composure. A couple months ago, I walk into the Head of our Group to get his comments, and in the middle of his sentence he lifts up a cheek, and rips one.
The doctor then said the last part of his physical is a rectal exam and he asked me if I wanted one.. before he finished his sentence, I said no as I had one during my last exam (biggest…….) and went home and asked my sister @ the no gloves. She said she has never heard of it.
Fuck me.
At times its awesome to see my sister doing so well. But at times it can be weird as she is my LITTLE sister and now she is smarter than me. My arguments seem stupid considering she seems to kick ass in everything she does., and obviously is kicking ass in her career. And we all know a monkey can do i-banking.
The flip side is that she has become more sensitive about certain topics and more open about others. Both of which work against my advantage. For example, one time I mentioned that I will have a cig once in awhile and she started crying. The next day she took me to the cadaver lab to show me a smoker's lung, which I must admit is quite gross. I think she has seen first hand the effects of smoking and it hurts her to see her brother following the same footpath. Even now if I go to dinner with her and say I have to use the bathroom, she will check my breath to see if I smoked. I laugh at the idea of me smoking in a stall, but I guess she has good intentions.
The last month was especially weird, as my sister did her urology rotation at the VA hospital. We try to talk every other day, but now our conversations are becoming uncomfortable for me. When I asked her how her day was, she says " I looked at old people's testicles all day long." The statement is wrong on so many levels. First, I did not want my sister looking at testicles, and b.) I did not want to talk to her about it. Okay fine, it is wrong on two levels.
One time she then mentioned she had to cut off this guy's testicles - even writing that phrase is uncomfortable. My sister is a very petite girl, and the thought of her doing that to a guy is scary. I admit, I am a bit more afraid / have respect for her than I did in the past.
The worst was two weeks ago when over dinner, and out of nowhere she asked if I am circumcised. I am going to do you a favor and let that question settle in. Your little sister is asking you @ your dick. Over dinner. With everyone staring at you. I tried to laugh it off and then was like "What is wrong with you??" I know most guys and most girls know some dicks are clean and some have hats. The thing is that I don’t care if you have a hat or not. I feel the only people who should know that is my parents and random girls I have hooked up with. Other than that no one should know.
Anyhow, after all this nagging I decided to get a physical- something I have not done in a couple years. Going to the doctor after awhile is almost like going on a first date with someone. The amount of lying and weirdness is unreal. When I walked in, I had to fill out a 3 page questionnaire asking @ my family history. Truthfully, because we live in America, I don’t know what kind of problems my extended family has. I mean when you call India, you ask how they are doing, and 99% of the time everyone says they are doing fine. As a result, I just checked what was common amongst Indians - heart disease and high blood pressure. I guess I became self conscious and did not want the Doctor to think I came from a messed up family. It would be hilarious though if I checked all the boxes off and he looks it over and says “Man you are fucked..”
I got called by the Nurse and went to the room. I got bored and started to play with all the medical tools. Of course, the Doctor walks in the minute I am trying to get my blood pressure by wrapping the tool on my ankles. Great start to this visit.
He sat down and started going through the questionnaire. I had just met this guy and he already knew @ my family history and now wanted to know everything about me and was going to judge me. Consequently, in order to maintain my pride, every question he asked me, I answered with a lie.
"I see you have gained some weight.. have you been working out?"
- I have hired a trainer and have been working out twice a day. The weight gain is likely due to muscle gain.
"Do you smoke?"
- I would say on average one every 3 days.
"How many drinks would you say you have on a weekend?"
- I don’t count. I would say 10-12 all weekend
In truth I would say on average , I have 7-8 drinks, a couple beers and some shots per night. According to the Doctor this qualifies me as an alcoholic and should go to the AA. I mean this guy is trying to help me and I felt that I did not know him well enough to be straight with him. The whole time I was dodging questions.
“Are you sleeping around? Do you have protected sex?”
- At this point I was too embarrassed to tell him that I am not really in a position to be denying any kind of sex, even if it is unprotected. So I told him of course I am having protected sex. Plenty of protected sex.- If I going to lie, might as well make myself a champion.
We then move to the next part of the exam where we tells me to remove my clothes and we do the normal breathing exercises. The next part really freaked me out. He told me drop my boxers and he wanted to check my balls. Now, I am mature enough to know that this is part of the exam, but two things were wrong in my mind:
a.) he did not use glove.
This is wrong. Simply put. This is wrong.
b.) He was talking to me.
When my dick is exposed, I don’t like to talk to other guys (i.e. in the bathroom). At work, I hate it when my managing director stands next to me while taking a piss and talks shop. As a result, I usually go to the stall just so I can have some privacy.
Anyhow, the Doctor continues to talk about how I should check my balls in the shower for lumps.. at this point I was getting real uncomfortable. The thought of farting crossed my mind. Can you imagine his reaction??? He would be in obvious pain/disgust, but he would have to be professional. That would be awesome.
In all honesty, I have been in the opposite scenario at work and it is hard to maintain your composure. A couple months ago, I walk into the Head of our Group to get his comments, and in the middle of his sentence he lifts up a cheek, and rips one.
The doctor then said the last part of his physical is a rectal exam and he asked me if I wanted one.. before he finished his sentence, I said no as I had one during my last exam (biggest…….) and went home and asked my sister @ the no gloves. She said she has never heard of it.
Fuck me.
posted by G at
3:36 PM
2 Comments:
i know i ain't "mr. appropriate"...but this is just a disgusting blog topic
read the post, idiot...i agree that the question should never be brought up.
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