Return of the G

So this is the longest time I have gone without a post. I have heard from some of you specifically regarding this, so I apologize. So what has happened in the last month. Well a lot. and then when you look back, not that much. I don’t know if that makes sense. Anyhow here are some highlights of the last month, if I can still remember (still recovering from 120 hours in 6 days of work, flight back to the west coast, and 4 more days of getting beat up …more to come on that later..)

Hit up the sc's.

It is scary now, but I have several friends that whenever I visit them or they come to visit, we always catch up at a strip club. About a month ago, one of my boys from up from San Diego was in town and we met up in the Mission for drinks. The scary thing was that this guy came with passes to dinner. It no longer is a question, it is an assumption. And it is not as we are perverts or anything like that, and blow tons of money at these establishments. There are hot girls walking by, usually good music and just a good place to catch up. Oh yeah and when conversation dies down, there are naked girls on stage, which is always a conversation starter.

I know its kind of odd that this is the first thing came in my mind for an update. I am G. I am weird. Deal.

Tim's Bday

One of the WB (white boys) combined his birthday with 3 girls -I no longer can count 3 girls who are my friends, and who are not just acquaintances or friends by association. Living with Mr. Friendster, I have met a lot of females, but in the end they are just acquaintances.

The night started with sushi and sake bombs at 5PM, which is a real early start for nighttime drinking. We then got a bus they rented to drive us around the city – this bus could fit 60 heads. I think we must have had ~ 40 heads. As is tradition in any venue where there is beer, we started off the party with relay boat races. This is where two people race the entire length of the bus and chug a beer, run back, and then tag the next person. Needless to say, the aisle is not meant for 2 people to walk at the same time, so there is a lot of shoving.

We rolled to the first bars, and then I made the stupid decision to start drinking gin, which like champagne or white wine insures that I will either get sick or black out. I was with my boys, and actually with some girls. People were not staring at us because 50 indians rolled into a club. I was the only indian in the crew, and I think there were 2 asian girls. The rest were gora. I was unstoppable.

We even picked up a 60 year grandmother and convinced her to do a keg stand. It was the greatest moment of life, and my most depressing moment at the same time. I am still trying to decide whether at 60 if I want to do keg stands. It is tight and depressing. I guess some people would consider keg stands at 26 pathetic as well.

Anyhow we went to a couple more bars, and then rolled to Butter- which is a slightly more ghetto club. They serve 40's and jello shots and I had a lot of jello shots. I don’t remember how many, but I estimate that I had almost a plateful.

After getting my share of Cosby’s secret sauce, I roll to go to a coworkers party at a new joint that opened up in the city. It was at this point all the alcohol from the jello decided to hit my brain.. Within 5 minutes, I somehow managed to get kicked out of the club without even having another drink. I then threathend the bouncer saying I new the owner. When he asked me the owner’s name, all I could think of was “Dalbir”. He laughed at me, which in retrospect I could see why.

However, I could not let him win, and almost got into a fight with the bouncer. I have been taking boxing lessons, so when I get drunk, I think I am the next coming of Rocky Balboa. But in reality, I am more like George Costanza. And Yatin to save you the trouble, yes, I am beginning to look like him.

At this I am super drunk, and withdrawing money as if there is no tomorrow. I remember the next stop the white boys were at was the same spot that another buddy of mine was – Element. Apparently he told me the next day, within 15 minutes, I hit on everything in the club. Apparently I am very funny, when I drunk and confident/desperate. I was taking the dartboard approach and just say a couple lines to a group girls and see if anything registers, rather than trying to focus on a single girl. This may explain why I still am single.

Anyhow, I rolled up to the bar to keep drinking. However when the shots came before, I got some clarity and realized that if I took this shot, it would be game over. I worked pretty hard to get to the level where I was, and was not ready top call it a night. Rather than saying no and dealing with peer pressure, I literally ran out of the door into a cab. Thankfully one of my friends was there to pick up the tab.

To make the night to complete, I then rolled to a houseparty, where my sister and some family friends were. At this point, I was at the point where I was admitting I was wasted, never a good sign. And being wasted in front of my sisters is never kosher. So I got in, said hello, freaked some friends, and then walked out. I did not want to stay and embarrass myself. I am really surprised I am getting these moments of clarity in my old age. Before I would have gone and did a keg stand and passed out on the floor. As Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, "A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience"

Anyhow, I got the craving for food, and went to a late night indian place where me and boy ate like kings, listening to indian music. It was the perfect end to the night. Me and Ox eating chicken tikka, trying to figure how much we spent that night. The morning was not so nice.

"Show me your fun"

My white boy, in his undying quest to get me laid, asked me to show him my fun at a club, where there were a lot of ladies walking around.

G: “Huh?”
Tim: “You know your fun dance. The dance, the smile that shows a girl that you are a fun guy. The dance that makes a girl think that if she dances with you its cool, and if not its cool as well"G: Attempts to show ‘the fun’
Tim: "Come on man, you need to smile more, show some eye contact. Get loose!!"

This was probably one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me on the dance floor. I wish I could have videotaped what I was seeing that night.

Raksha Bandan / Remote Control Car

My older sister actually flew up to celebrate Raksha Bandan, this year. After 3 years of living in the same city, we actually now have to make an effort to meet up. In any case, it was awesome to be together because it is one of the few holidays I take seriously and try to be generous with gifts, especially I am a working man.

The first year, I got them Ipods and last year spa certificates. To up the bar, I got them chanpagne flutes and a braclet from Tiffanys. They feed me, baby me, and defend me to my parents and in general take care of me. All you fuckers tell me to drink more, and they are still one of the few who tell me to drink less. th gifts, especially I am a working man. The first year, I got them Ipods, last year old age. Before I

And the super cool thing this year, is that besides giving me rakhis, they got me a remote control car. In my life, I have never had a real remote control car. So she got me two rice rockets. Granted the batteries cost more than the actual cars, it was one of the best gifts I have ever received. After a long day at work, there is nothing better than sitting on the couch and playing with a remote control car.

Other than that the last two weeks of my life and counting have been dedicated to work. I was out in NY where I worked from 6 days straight. The last night of cranking (Tuesday) I got a reprieve and met up with one of boys at a SC at 1AM after work finally let out. It was like old times. Weird thing is that there was a girl giving back massages at the club, and I enjoyed that WAY more than the lap dance. I guess you can never really go wrong with a back massage. Trust me. I have not met one person yet who said his lap dance was awesome – most likely because anything short than sex is a disappointment.

Anyhow, I got to stay an extra day and got to see some of my NY friends. Dinner with an old coworker, opera in the park with pinky and some family friends, and drank and caught up with my brother in law at his apartment till 3AM. I had a car pick me up at 6AM and thought I would be able to chill Thursday , and ended up working till 11:30 that night and subsequently the whole entire wknd. Whatever. The hours come with this job, and many of you think that my experience as an associate at an ibank have been lax, so I guess it all evens out in the end. Besides learning a shitload, an added benefit was I lost some pounds due to stress/eating only twice a day and no drinking.

I have had some thoughts on interesting posts, and will try to write whenever work gives me a break. But just note, I am back BABY!

--“What if I were to tell you I had a 22 inch cock? Would that be something you would be interested in?”