Memories from Africa
When it rains, it pours. After not dating for the past 27 years, I can honestly say that in the last couple of months I have finally made some progress in the dating game. Now I am not the type that can juggle multiple girls at once. This always ends up in disaster as usually the girls ended up meeting each other and I get screwed.
One of the more memorable moments when this happened was after getting laid off at Broadview and I just recently moved home. As you can imagine, living at home pretty much eliminates any chance of game, but I made due. At the time I was kinda seeing these two girls. One lived in LA and the other lived in Rancho so I thought they would never cross roads. One was a ghetto hooch and the other was a more homely girl who was studying to go to med school. In any case, as luck would have it I double booked myself for one day. I knew it was impossible to do dinners with two girls at once, so I told the hooch to meet up for lunch and homely to meet up for dinner.
Lunch went great and the hooch dropped me off. I did not want to let her into my house though as well I know my Dad and my sisters would laugh at my lack of game. I quickly ran inside to jump in the shower to get the hooch smell off of me. While I was getting ready, the homely girl came over and my parents invited her into our living room and began talking to her.
I then noticed I could not find my wallet. One quick call to the hooch confirmed that I had left it in her car. I asked her if she could drop it off. In my mind, I assumed she would call from outside, I would run get the wallet and then i could take homely girl out. Of course, I had no such luck.
Instead, hooch proceeds to park her car and ring the doorbell and my mom opens the door. Suprised to see yet another non-attractive girl, she invites her in.
I had no idea all this was happening and my little sister comes into my room laughing. Both of these girls were in my living room talking to my parents. Fuck me!!! Of course, I did the noble thing. I walked into the room, said hello to the hooch, grabbed my wallet, said by to the hooch, and took the homely girl out on a date.
Either I am extremely smooth or both girls were extremely dumb, because neither mentioned the incident. I vote for the latter.
In any case, there have been times when gods have thrown me a bone and I actually have met some quality ladies. One of these times was in my last trip to Africa on the last wknd I was there. I ended up spending the wknd in the honeymoon suite at this amazing resort. My friend knew the owner so he thought it would be hilarious. As a sidenote of the features was this long bathroom with two showers heads on opposite walls, so I could literally do laps while taking a shower.
Anyhow, the resort was somehow booked with only indian families who did not want to accomadate a young indian dude. So I spent the first night hanging at the pool and eating by myself. The next day I was feeling sorry for myself and annoyed by the lack of girls so I hit the bar, which as part of my package was completely free. After an hour, I looked to my right and there was this amazing Polish girl who the most stunning blue eyes I had seen. One thing led to another and we ended up talking for the next two days. We had all of our meals together and hung by the pool and hit up the jacuzzi together. It was AWESOME!!
I even extended my flight from Diani so I could spend more time with her. We exchanged contact information and have talking via email since then. One thing that really amazed me about this girl was that she was in Kenya to build her own resort down the street from where we were saying.
In our most recent exchange, she sent over this rendering of her hotel and told me that I need to meet her at the bar when it opens.
So why bring this up now? Well, I just wanted to wish all of you a Happy holidays and remind you that even though times may be tough (I have been laid off for almost 6 months now), and your dating prospects may be as concerning as the Lakers recent defensive performance, God has a way of making things work out. It is important to remain positive and be thankful for what you have.
Ok enough preaching. On a separate note, someone mentioned this video and I thought it was hilarious. Enjoy and dont "JIZZ IN MY PANTS"
One of the more memorable moments when this happened was after getting laid off at Broadview and I just recently moved home. As you can imagine, living at home pretty much eliminates any chance of game, but I made due. At the time I was kinda seeing these two girls. One lived in LA and the other lived in Rancho so I thought they would never cross roads. One was a ghetto hooch and the other was a more homely girl who was studying to go to med school. In any case, as luck would have it I double booked myself for one day. I knew it was impossible to do dinners with two girls at once, so I told the hooch to meet up for lunch and homely to meet up for dinner.
Lunch went great and the hooch dropped me off. I did not want to let her into my house though as well I know my Dad and my sisters would laugh at my lack of game. I quickly ran inside to jump in the shower to get the hooch smell off of me. While I was getting ready, the homely girl came over and my parents invited her into our living room and began talking to her.
I then noticed I could not find my wallet. One quick call to the hooch confirmed that I had left it in her car. I asked her if she could drop it off. In my mind, I assumed she would call from outside, I would run get the wallet and then i could take homely girl out. Of course, I had no such luck.
Instead, hooch proceeds to park her car and ring the doorbell and my mom opens the door. Suprised to see yet another non-attractive girl, she invites her in.
I had no idea all this was happening and my little sister comes into my room laughing. Both of these girls were in my living room talking to my parents. Fuck me!!! Of course, I did the noble thing. I walked into the room, said hello to the hooch, grabbed my wallet, said by to the hooch, and took the homely girl out on a date.
Either I am extremely smooth or both girls were extremely dumb, because neither mentioned the incident. I vote for the latter.
In any case, there have been times when gods have thrown me a bone and I actually have met some quality ladies. One of these times was in my last trip to Africa on the last wknd I was there. I ended up spending the wknd in the honeymoon suite at this amazing resort. My friend knew the owner so he thought it would be hilarious. As a sidenote of the features was this long bathroom with two showers heads on opposite walls, so I could literally do laps while taking a shower.
Anyhow, the resort was somehow booked with only indian families who did not want to accomadate a young indian dude. So I spent the first night hanging at the pool and eating by myself. The next day I was feeling sorry for myself and annoyed by the lack of girls so I hit the bar, which as part of my package was completely free. After an hour, I looked to my right and there was this amazing Polish girl who the most stunning blue eyes I had seen. One thing led to another and we ended up talking for the next two days. We had all of our meals together and hung by the pool and hit up the jacuzzi together. It was AWESOME!!
I even extended my flight from Diani so I could spend more time with her. We exchanged contact information and have talking via email since then. One thing that really amazed me about this girl was that she was in Kenya to build her own resort down the street from where we were saying.
In our most recent exchange, she sent over this rendering of her hotel and told me that I need to meet her at the bar when it opens.
So why bring this up now? Well, I just wanted to wish all of you a Happy holidays and remind you that even though times may be tough (I have been laid off for almost 6 months now), and your dating prospects may be as concerning as the Lakers recent defensive performance, God has a way of making things work out. It is important to remain positive and be thankful for what you have.
Ok enough preaching. On a separate note, someone mentioned this video and I thought it was hilarious. Enjoy and dont "JIZZ IN MY PANTS"
posted by G at
11:16 AM
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